Assalamu ealaykum, hi i want to talk with you about something, i’m in a school where theres girls and boys ,and before i became a practicing muslim, i naturaly had female friends, but now they keep comming to me after exams to chit-chat and i just wish they wouldn’t come since its haram but i just can’t reject them it would be rude, But whats bothering me the most is that when they come and we talk theres people around , so im concerned because im affraid that this counts as exposing the sin publicly when we laugh occasionaly and talk without a reason , i would like to know is there any opinion or mujtahedeen that makes talking with the other gender in a normal chatty conversation at least makkruh as long as its respectfull so i could follow it until i become confident enough to stand up for myself , and also i f this situation counts as exposing my sin publicaly , jazakumu lahu khayran
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Whilst we understand the difficulty and probable embarrassment that you will have to go through for denouncing these girls, you will get immense reward for breaking off all contact.
“سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله: إمام عادل، وشاب نشأ في عبادة الله تعالى، ورجل قلبه معلق بالمساجد…”
Translation: “Seven categories of people are such that Allah will give protection with His Shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His Shade (i.e. on the Day of Qiyamah): A just ruler; a youth who grew up with the worship of Allah Ta’ala….” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6806)
You do not have to be abrupt or rude, but you may politely inform them that speaking to the opposite gender is against your values. Do not concern yourself with what they will think, but rather, focus on what will please your Creator. This is a very small test for you, and it will be a means of you attaining eternal bless.
On another note, Makruh does not mean that something is fine. Persistence of Makruh is equal to Haram.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best
Wassalaam,
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)