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Leaving children with kafir grandparents

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Fatwa.org.au
I have just become a Muslim with my childrens’ father. We got married but both our parents are non-belivers. Can our children still stay for weekends and spend time with our parents, without my husband or myself being there so long as we tell them what our children can and can not do?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

May Allah Ta’ala accept your embracing of Islam and may He bless your entire family with guidance, righteousness and piety. Ameen.

Firstly, if your husband does not allow you to let the children stay with their grandparents, then you must obey him. However, your husband may not prevent you from visiting your parents once every week. (See: Fataawa Qadi Khan 1/371, 383 pub. al-Ilmiyyah; Shaami: 4/287; 5/328 pub. Darul Ma’rifa)

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger (Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The woman who offers her (daily) five prayers, fasts in her month (i.e. in the month of Ramadan), safeguards her chastity and obeys her husband may enter paradise from any of its doors.” (Mishkaat pg. 281 pub. Qadeemi)

However, if you just want to know the ruling of the Shariah in regards to letting the children stay with their non-Muslim grandparents during the weekends etc, then it is as follows:

It will not be permissible to let the children stay with their non-Muslim grandparents or relatives in the following cases:

  • If the children have reached such an age that they can distinguish between different religions and their practices. The jurists have deemed this age to be seven years.
  • If there is fear of them becoming fond of non-Islamic beliefs, practices and lifestyle, even if they have not reached the age of seven years.
  • If there is fear of them being fed haram food.

If none of the cases mentioned above apply, it will be permissible to let the children stay with their non-Muslim grandparents over the weekend.

في الدر المختار: ( و ) الحاضنة ( الذمية ) ولو مجوسية ( كمسلمة ما لم يعقل دينا ) ينبغي تقديره بسبع سنين لصحة إسلامه حينئذ، نهر، ( أو ) إلى أن ( يخاف أن يألف الكفر ) فينزع منها وإن لم يعقل دينا، بحر ؛ ؛ وقال ابن عابدين رحمه الله: ( قوله : ولو مجوسية ) بأن أسلم زوجها وأبت ( قوله : بسبع سنين ) فائدة هذا تظهر في الأنثى لأن الذكر تنتهي حضانته بالسبع، حموي ( قوله : أو إلى أن يخاف ) أشار إلى أن قول المصنف ” أو يخاف ” منصوب بأن مضمرة بعد ” أو ” التي بمعنى ” إلى ” كما في الفتح ، وهذا زاده في الهداية ، فظاهره أنه إذا خيف أن يألف الكفر نزع منها وإن لم يعقل دينا، بحر ، قال ط : ولم يمثلوا لألف الكفر، والظاهر أن يفسر سببه بنحو أخذه لمعابدهم ، وفي الفتح : وتمنع أن تغذيه الخمر ولحم الخنزير ، وإن خيف ضم إلى ناس من المسلمين ، وقول البحر : لم ينزع منها بل يضم إلى أناس من المسلمين فيه تحريف ، والظاهر أن ” لم ” زائدة ، وإلا تناقض، تأمل ( رد المحتار: ج 5 ص 272 ط دار المعرفة )
And Allah knows best.

Mufti Faizal Riza

This answer was collected from Fatwa.org.au, which is connected to Darul Ifta Australia, based in Melbourne, Australia.
It is operated by Mufti Faizal Riza, a student of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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