My mom is pushing me for marriage. I don’t want to get married ever because I am in love with someone who at first promised to marry me ..Planned our life…and then backed out because he had turned very religious all of a sudden and said there was no place for this kind of love in Islam. I feel that I am not mentally well to get married after the way my trust had been shattered, and I am scared that I will end up only hurting the person I get married to if my mom doesn’t stop pushing me.
How can I convince my mom that I don’t want to marry(from Islamic point of view)?. Also would it be sinful if I was working and lived alone independently (single) for the rest of my life?
Answer
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
At the outset, you should understand that life is all about challenges. By facing challenges and tests in our daily life we should not loose hope and become desponded; rather we should become stronger in our faith and conviction in Allah Ta’ala. We should take these challenges to be all from the side of Allah Ta’ala. It is our true belief that all good and bad which befalls a believer is from the side of Allah Ta’ala.
This should be a turning point in your life, by which you should not fall in the traps of shaitaanagain.
Nabi Sallalahu Allai Wassalam has mentioned in a hadith;
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه : عن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم أنه قال لا يلدغ المؤمن من جحر واحد مرتين.
Nabi Sallalahu Allaihi Wassalam mentions; that a believer is not bitten twice from the same whole.[1]
We understand from the above hadith that once a believer has made a blunder he should not fall in the same blunder for the second time, he should be more cautious in his future matters.
From now on you should turn to Allah Ta’ala and ask him to pardon you and forgive you for the past and to make you a true obedient servant of his. Together with that you should be punctual on your 5 daily Salaah, recitation of the Holy Quraan, Tasbeeh Faatimi after every salaah, assisting your mum in the daily household chores etc; and in your free time you should read the books of the pious and illustrious scholars of Islam, like Behisti Zewar of Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi and theFadaail Amaal of Hadrat Sheikh Zakariya Rahimahumullahu rahmataw waasiatan and many other reliable authors. Inshallah if you would follow the examples of these pious and extraordinary women mentioned in these books, Allah Ta’ala would make you from amongst them. Aameen
Lastly you should realize that marriage has great blessings and is a Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Sallalahu Allaihi Wassallam.
In order to attain the blessings of your parents, you should take their advice and prepare your self mentally and physically for this great Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Sallalahu Allaihi Wassallam.
Inshallah if you would act upon the given advice and create a link with Allah Ta’ala by being a true pious servant of his, in a short span of time you would get over your shatter and grief.
We make Dua to Allah Ta’ala that He accepts you for the service of his Deen and grants you a pious (Allah Conscious) husband who would be the coolness for your eyes. Aameen
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Mufti Luqman Hansrot
Fatwa Dept.
(صحيح البخاري , دار ابن كثير ، اليمامة بيروت , باب لا يلدغ المؤمن من جحر مرتين , ج 5, ص2271 )