Answered by: Maulana Imran Mughal
In 2017 Dec I have married and I belong to a Syed family where Parda is necessary. After a few months, my father has clashed with my Father in Law. He said he will not come to home without my permission and meet her sister if no man is at home. Is this is right?
Secondly, he said to me you and your wife will follow my rules, where ever you want to go ask before me and every decision of your personal life as well.
And he pointed out due to work my wife, and now my wife had a miscarriage. she insists me to live in separate but I am totally confused about what to do because I am only one son of my Parents and my mother is a cancer patient but I have two sisters as well.
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
It is extremely noble of the son to remain in his parents’ house with the intention of servicing the parents, especially as it is in your case-when one or both of the parents are extremely ill.
Sayyidunā Abū Hurayrah reports that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) once said: “Let his nose be rubbed in the dust; let his nose be rubbed in the dust; let his nose be rubbed in the dust.” When asked: “Who is it that should be humiliated in such a way?” he answered: “That person who finds his parents, one or both of them, attaining old age in his life, but does not enter Paradise by serving them.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim Ḥadīth 6189)
However, the parents need to be mindful to allow the married couple some freedom for them to do what they want, as long as it is according to the rules of Shariah and does not harm the parents by the married couple not being there to service them. To run every decision, be it small or large pass the father becomes extremely difficult and forces the married couple out of their home, causing more damage.
At the same time, it should be remembered that the parents have a lot of rights upon their children, and that as long as their commands do not conflict with the commands of the Deen they should be followed.
Sayyidunā ‘Abdullāh bin ‘Amr (RA) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “The Lord (Allah) is pleased when the parent is pleased, and He is displeased when the parent is displeased.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhī Ḥadīth 1899)
When it comes to housework, the method in which families take to ensure that is to dictate the rulings from before about all the things the wife has to do.
Rather, the correct way to do so is with love and compassion, that way it will not deter the wife from the parents but rather increase the blessings and mercy of Allah within the household.
The best way for delicate situations like these is to have a local scholar arbitrate between all relevant parties to arrive at a solution that allows everyone’s rights to be fulfilled, whilst maintaining a correct and sound family system.
And Allah SWT alone knows best.
Answered by Maulana Imran Mughal
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.