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Should I get married to a person who I don’t love

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by DarulIftaBirmingham


Answered by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah


Question:


Respected Mufti, I’d like to ask you an opinion about a personal matter.  


I have a problem with my family. I’m a reverted Muslim but my family is not Muslim. They don’t like Islam, especially my mother. She knows that I have Muslim friends and I’m studying Arabic language and Islamic things but she doesn’t know I reverted to Islam. 


I can’t pray salah in time because I don’t have a room where I can pray. I have to wait everyone is sleeping in order to pray salah.  I’m very sad with my situation.


I’m trying to find a solution, so I met a good Muslim brother. I thought if I marry him I’ll be able to live an Islamic life. This brother is good-tempered, practicing the Sunnah, has a strong Iman and he likes me. But unfortunately, I don’t return his feelings. I told him the truth about my feelings and I asked my friends what I have to do. All my (Muslims) friends suggested me to don’t marry him if I don’t feel sure with this marriage.


The night when I made Istikhara, I had very bad dreams. I thought it was a sign that I can’t marry him but this brother told me maybe it was a sign of shaytan. My hearth and my friends is telling me to stay at home although I live in a difficult situation but this brother is trying to persuade me that marrying him is the best solution. I’m very afraid of marry someone who I don’t like but I’m also afraid of loosing my faith.  


What I have to do? It is compulsory or recommended to marry him in my situation? It’s better to be sure regarding marriage? If my heart is telling me that he is not the right husband, this suggestion is from shaytan?


Answer:


Bismillah


Marriage is a Sunnah of the Prophet of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) and a form of worship.


The Prophet of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has said: “Nikah (marriage) is my Sunnah.” (Sunan-Tirmizi)


In another Hadith the Prophet of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has said: “In the fulfilling of your sexual desires there is a sadaqah. The Sahabah (RA) asked, “If one of us fulfils his desires will he have a reward in it?” The Prophet of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) replied, “Tell me if he were to fulfil his desires in a haram way would he be sinful? So accordingly when he fulfils his desires in a halal way there is reward for him.” (Sahih Muslim)


Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has described marriage through the following words:


“They are libas (concealment) for you and you are libas for them.” (Surah Baqarah V 187)


Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) used the following words to describe marriage as the same as wearing ones clothes to protect one from the cold and heat; similarly marriage is a means of safeguarding oneself from sins. Also marriage provides peace and tranquillity to the heart and there is a physical bond between the husband and wife the same way ones clothes is closely attached to a person.


(Tafsir-Qurtubi P209 v2)


From this we can understand that marriage not only is a means of fulfilling ones carnal desires but also is a form of worship.


For a person to achieve peace and tranquillity from marriage it is very important that one finds the right partner.


Islam views marriage a life time relationship and not a short term fix to a difficult situation your facing at home. Therefore, my advice will be that it would be best that you don’t go ahead with this proposal and Insha Allah; Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) will find someone else for you.


Only Allah Knows Best


Mohammed Tosir Miah


Darul Ifta Birmingham


This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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