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How can I convince my conservative parents to allow me to marry a Shia Muslim from Iran?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Darulifta-Deoband.com
Dear Scholar,Salam I’m a Muslimah, it was and is my desire to serve Allah. A year back i joined university where I met a Shia Muslim classmate from Iran who had very twisted ideas about Islam but he tried and is still trying to search for the truth. my intuition told me that Allah had sent me here as a medium for him to attain hidayah, since my purpose of joining the course was solely to become capable of serving Islam. Alhamdolillah, I’d been able to clear many of his doubts concerning Islam. It’s obvious that how much he now respected me for my help to him and one day he expressed his desire to marry me and wanted to meet my parents but i told him about his Shia background and i’m trying to convince him that Sunni way is better and more appropriate. Listening to this he agreed to change his Madhab too. I too solely for the purpose of being his guide for his whole life, want to get married to him. But I come from a very conservative family and i hope you can understand how difficult it is for a girl in such environment express her desire to get married according to her choice. Also another problem is our nationality, He’s from Iran and i’m an Indian. He doesn’t have any job right now which is also a hindrance in the way for us to marry as my parents would surely prefer a person who’s well settled in life. As a good Muslimah how should i deal with this situation? I really want to convince my parents that i wish to marry him but because of their conservative ideas they may regard the presentation of my wish to be very shameful and disrespectful. How can i present my wish in accordance with Islamic principles to them? I Performed Istikhara and visioned pleasant red colour and lovely flames. Though i didn’t understand the meaning of this dream i felt extremely happy throughout the next day. Does this imply good? Please help me to interpret the dream in the best way possible. Please i hope to receive guidance from you. Lastly, I sincerely ask for your dua for both of us, especially for his hidayah. Jazakallahu Khair


(Fatwa: 1223/970=H/1429)

We do not know what course you are doing and what kind of service you want to do to Islam? According to the circumstances and details mentioned above, it is better for you that instead of arranging matters pertaining to your nikha, you should follow advices and instructions of your parents. As mentioned above, the contacts you have with the Shia are un-Islamic.  Instead of guiding him, it is very essential for you to think of you and your life of the world hereafter. So far as the mater of that Shia is concerned, if he is determined to reform himself, then give him address of any Sunni Alim. He himself should meet that Alim face to face or contact him by writing letter and should go ahead. It is not a so magnificent to change religion for the sake of nikah only, rather it is feared to cause dangers in future.

Your istikhara and dream point out that you should prefer the orthodoxy of your parents in comparison to your modernity. There lies the goodness of the world and the hereafter for you.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best

Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband

This answer was collected from the official ifta website of Darul Uloom Deoband in India.

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