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I’m not talking to my parents because they want me to marry someone I don’t want to. What do I do?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

In short iam not talking with my parents because they are forcing me to get marry, they got upset when they knew that  i want to marry some one eals ,so i said ok i will marry with who you want but from that day iam upset by force married so i have been sad and quite all the time when ever they ask me some thing i reaply until that iam quite.

They want be to become the person that i was used to be but i cant smile fake i cant share my feeling with them because i know my feeling will hurt them.

What should i do because i know in Islam parents have that much right that if they will not forgive us so Allah(J) will not forgive us i dont want to destroy my Akhirat but i cant be Fake as well help me plz

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

It is not correct for you not to talk with your parents even though it is your right to marry whom you want subject to that man being a compatible match (kufu). Rather, be kind and communicate with them like you used to before. At all times, display proper etiquette. This is their right.

However, you can convey your disagreement to their choice politely – taking into account the reasons for their choice – since our parents our wiser and have more foresight than us.

Your right is that you should not be coerced into marrying someone who you don’t want to. You should politely refuse instead of accepting their choice and then not talk with them. Explain to your parents that this is your whole life at stake and that you cannot live the rest of your life with a man you do not want to marry.

If you cannot share this directly with them, seek the help of local scholars or elders in your extended family to help you discuss the issue with your parents.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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