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Do I marry and be miserable and not love the man I marry for my parent’s sake or do I not get married?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I am truly depressed and need your advice. My parents want me to get married, however I cannot get married now because I am in love with a man who does not feel the same about me anymore for what ever his reasons are. I cannot get over him because of our past and what we did. I know if I agree to get married because of my parents I will not be happy nor could I be happy with the man my parent make me marry. Please tell me what I should do. I did istakara, but I do not think it helped because I still have strong feelings for this man; the funny thing is I feel he is truly a good man but does not want to get married. He is the one that helped me get closer to Islam and to start praying. I know that he is a good Muslim man and now I want to marry only him. I have been reciting 500 durood sharifs, praying everyday and doing duas just as your site suggested. I do not want to marry another man because I love another man. I would rather be single the rest of my life than to marry another. However, I cannot stand to disappoint my family. Do I marry and be miserable and not love the man I marry for my parent’s sake or do I not get married? I am not sure what do you?I am at a point where I wish to be dead than to marry someone else (I know this is wrong, but I can’t help my feelings)?I am always having upset and can’t concentrate on anthying..What is my duty as a Muslim to my parents and what is my duty to myself? Please help

Answer

1. In Islamic law, an adult woman is given the option to marry or to abstain
altogether. Considering your situation, it would be better if you politely
refuse to marry the person your parents insist upon. You might as well
disappoint your family than being miserable in your marriage. Islam has
given you the option and are at liberty to exercise this option.
Nonetheless, since the pleasure and happiness of the parents is also
important, why don’t you explain to your parents that you are not happy with
their choice of partner?
2. In regards to the other man whom you love, if he is truly a good man,
then why doesn’t he want to marry you? If he has no intention of marrying
you, you should sever all relationship with him and try to forget about him.
Time heals all wounds.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
FATWA DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED CORRECT: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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