As salamu aleikum shykh,I was wondering if you can help by the grace of Allah swt. Iam a 19 years old teenage and I am having a haraam relationship.I want to end this relationship and do tawba not to have this kind of ralationship.I have done many times dua to stop this relationship but by the grace of Allah swt it has not been accepted.Shykh if you have Quran ayat or something to stop this relationship please give me to stop doing haram.May Allah swt reward you..Forgive me if I write something wrong, iam a knowledge seeker.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The guilt of the haram relationship you refer to is a sign of your Imaan. Allah Ta’ala has placed the value of Imaan in your heart and made you resent the haram relationship in order for you to strengthen your Imaan and experience the sweetness of Imaan over the sweetness of haram activities. Remember, the sweetness of Imaan is pure and wholesome. Once that sweetness enters the heart, the heart will never appreciate any other sweetness. The sweetness of haram is superficial and short-lived. Once a person engages in haram, it creates uneasiness in a person and deprives him of peace and tranquility.
Allah wishes for you to enjoy Imaan and peace. He gave you the tawfeeq of experiencing guilt of the haram relationship so that you repent and reform yourself. For that, you need to have the courage and will to personally abstain from the haram act. You cannot simply acknowledge the act is haram and resent it and make an intention to abstain from it. You will need to sacrifice and suppress you desires.
If a person happens to see such a poison which is decorated and made attractive to the eyes, then from it’s external features, the person would want the poison. However, the person will not be fooled as he is aware of the poison hidden within it. He will suppress his desires and withdraw from it. If he proceeds and consumes the poison, he will suffer major consequences. Likewise, haram acts are a type of poison. They are decorated and and made very appealing to the eyes and the heart. We must understand the evil contained within it. If you continue practicing upon the haram act—which in reality is a type of poison —it will kill your Imaan. Periodically, you will not abhor the haram act any longer and the light of Imaan will begin to diminish.
Brother/Sister, you are young and Allah Ta’ala blessed you with Imaan. Allah will never prevent you from abstaining from something which is out of your capabilities. You possess the internal strength and willpower to say no to haram.
Abstain from such avenues that jolt your carnal desires. We reside in this world of means that have an effect on our lives. If you intermingle with the opposite gender, your carnal desires are most certainly to be jolted. If you surf pornographic websites, you will end up involved in some haram. Don’t expect to engage in haram and simply rely on duas to help you abstain from it. Abandon all means of committing haram; then make dua to Allah to instill barakah in the means you have adopted.
When an airplane takes off, four engines are used and the fuel consumption is extremely high. Once the plane is airborne, two of the engines are switched off and the fuel consumption decreases. Similarly, in it’s initial stages, it will be difficult to refrain from indulging into haram acts. Increase the engine of your courage to it’s maximum to realize your strength of abstinence. You will need to make some sacrifices. After a matter of time, you will be airborne on a journey towards Allah.
Furthermore, go out in tableegh jamaat occasionally. Benefit from the company of pious people. A pure environment will assist you in abstaining from haram activities.[1]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
AbdulMannan Nizami
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[1] {وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ مِنْكُمْ طَوْلًا أَنْ يَنْكِحَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ فَمِنْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ مِنْ فَتَيَاتِكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِكُمْ بَعْضُكُمْ مِنْ بَعْضٍ فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلَا مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ فَإِذَا أُحْصِنَّ فَإِنْ أَتَيْنَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ فَعَلَيْهِنَّ نِصْفُ مَا عَلَى الْمُحْصَنَاتِ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ خَشِيَ الْعَنَتَ مِنْكُمْ وَأَنْ تَصْبِرُوا خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ} [النساء: 25]
(وَلا مُتَّخِذاتِ أَخْدانٍ) أَصْدِقَاءَ عَلَى الْفَاحِشَةِ، وَاحِدُهُمْ خِدْنٌ وَخَدِينٌ، وَهُوَ الَّذِي يُخَادِنُكَ، وَرَجُلٌ خُدَنَةٌ، إذا اتخذ أخذ انا أَيْ أَصْحَابًا، عَنْ أَبِي زَيْدٍ. وَقِيلَ: الْمُسَافِحَةُ الْمُجَاهِرَةُ بِالزِّنَى، أَيِ الَّتِي تُكْرِي نَفْسَهَا لِذَلِكَ. وَذَاتُ الْخِدْنِ هِيَ الَّتِي تَزْنِي سِرًّا. وَقِيلَ: الْمُسَافِحَةُ الْمَبْذُولَةُ، وَذَاتُ الْخِدْنِ الَّتِي تَزْنِي بِوَاحِدٍ. وَكَانَتِ الْعَرَبُ تَعِيبُ الْإِعْلَانَ بِالزِّنَى، وَلَا تَعِيبُ اتِّخَاذَ الْأَخْدَانِ، ثُمَّ رَفَعَ الْإِسْلَامُ جَمِيعَ ذَلِكَ، وَفِي ذَلِكَ نَزَلَ قَوْلُهُ تَعَالَى: (وَلا تَقْرَبُوا الْفَواحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْها وَما بَطَنَ «1»)، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ وَغَيْرِهِ.
[تفسير القرطبي، ج۵، ص١٤٣، دار الکتب الاسلامی]
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ عَمْرٍو، عَنْ أَبِي مَعْبَدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا، أَنَّهُ: سَمِعَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، يَقُولُ: «لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ، وَلاَ تُسَافِرَنَّ امْرَأَةٌ إِلَّا وَمَعَهَا مَحْرَمٌ»، فَقَامَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، اكْتُتِبْتُ فِي غَزْوَةِ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَخَرَجَتِ امْرَأَتِي حَاجَّةً، قَالَ: «اذْهَبْ فَحُجَّ مَعَ امْرَأَتِكَ»
[صحيح البخاري، ج٤، ص۵۹، دار طوق النجاة]
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ بْنِ أَبِي حَبِيبٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الخَيْرِ، عَنْ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: إِيَّاكُمْ وَالدُّخُولَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ، فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، أَفَرَأَيْتَ الحَمْوَ، قَالَ: الحَمْوُ الْمَوْتُ.
وَفِي البَاب عَنْ عُمَرَ، وَجَابِرٍ، وَعَمْرِو بْنِ العَاصِ.
حَدِيثُ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ، وَإِنَّمَا مَعْنَى كَرَاهِيَةِ الدُّخُولِ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ عَلَى نَحْوِ مَا رُوِيَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ كَانَ ثَالِثَهُمَا الشَّيْطَانُ، وَمَعْنَى قَوْلِهِ: الحَمْوُ، يُقَالُ: هُوَ أَخُو الزَّوْجِ، كَأَنَّهُ كَرِهَ لَهُ أَنْ يَخْلُوَ بِهَا
[سنن الترمذي ت بشار، ج۲، ص٤٦٥، دار الغرب الاسلامی]