I have a critical question regarding hurmat e musaharah. I want to explain in detail 1 – when I was 10-13 years old ( I am 37 years old now and don’t remember the exact age of incidence.) I had a skin condition on my penis and doctor gave a cream to apply on it. My mother applied that cream on my male organ and asked me to rub it. I was rubbing and then i ejaculated. This was my first ejaculation and my mother asked me what was it and I said I think I have passed urine.
I did not know about Shaukat and ejaculation at that time. I applied this cream for one week and my mother used to be in the room with me. 2- second incident is that I have seen my mother taking a bath few times and I saw her whole body nude from 3-4 feet distance. It happened many times. 3- while hugging my mother I have noticed that I had bad intention in my heart and I have touched her breasts over her shirt and bra. This happened few times ago and last time it happened many years ago. I have been repenting this for many years and I have done tauba and has been steadfast on it. I have been doing astaghfar and will be doing till the day of my death.
Please tell me if it has affected my parents marriage. My father is 74 years old and mother is 65 years old. I only knew about hurmat e musahrah just few months ago. Please answer this question as it has taken my sleep and peace away. I would like to die rather than causing trouble to my parents life.
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Allah Ta‘āla has given you the tawfīq to understand and realize the seriousness of your actions. It is the effect of that tawfīq that has led you to ask the question in reference. The first and second incident does not constitute hurmah al-musāharah. The point of contention lies particularly in the third incident.
There were two layers of clothing as mentioned in the query. In such a situation, the warmth of the skin is not felt. You may have felt sensation[1], but that alone does not constitute hurmah al-musāharah.
We say āmīn to your du‘as of being a true repenter.
And Allah Ta‘āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
[1] الدر المختار:…وَالْعِبْرَةُ لِلشَّهْوَةِ عِنْدَ الْمَسِّ وَالنَّظَرِ لَا بَعْدَهُمَا وَحَدُّهَا فِيهِمَا تَحَرُّكُ آلَتِهِ أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ بِهِ يُفْتَى وَفِي امْرَأَةٍ وَنَحْوِ شَيْخٍ كَبِيرٍ تَحَرَّكَ قُبُلُهُ أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ وَفِي الْجَوْهَرَةِ: لَا يُشْتَرَطُ فِي النَّظَرِ لِفَرْجٍ تَحْرِيكُ آلَتِهِ بِهِ يُفْتَى هَذَا إذَا لَمْ يُنْزِلْ فَلَوْ أَنْزَلَ مَعَ مَسٍّ أَوْ نَظَرٍ فَلَا حُرْمَةَ بِهِ يُفْتِي
رد لمحتار: (قَوْلُهُ: وَحَدُّهَا فِيهِمَا) أَيْ حَدُّ الشَّهْوَةِ فِي الْمَسِّ وَالنَّظَرِ ح (قَوْلُهُ: أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ) أَيْ زِيَادَةُ التَّحَرُّكِ إنْ كَانَ مَوْجُودًا قَبْلَهُمَا (قَوْلُهُ: بِهِ يُفْتَى) وَقِيلَ حَدُّهَا أَنْ يَشْتَهِيَ بِقَلْبِهِ إنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ مُشْتَهِيًا أَوْ يَزْدَادَ إنْ كَانَ مُشْتَهِيًا، وَلَا يُشْتَرَطُ تَحَرُّكُ الْآلَةِ وَصَحَّحَهُ فِي الْمُحِيطِ وَالتُّحْفَةِ وَفِي غَايَةِ الْبَيَانِ وَعَلَيْهِ الِاعْتِمَادُ وَالْمَذْهَبُ الْأَوَّلُ بَحْرٌ قَالَ فِي الْفَتْحِ: وَفَرَّعَ عَلَيْهِ مَا لَوْ انْتَشَرَ وَطَلَبَ امْرَأَةً فَأَوْلَجَ بَيْنَ فَخِذَيْ بِنْتِهَا خَطَأً لَا تَحْرُمُ أُمُّهَا مَا لَمْ يَزْدَدْ الِانْتِشَارُ
[رد المحتار ج٣ ص٣٣ ايج ايم سعيد]
وَوُجُودُ الشَّهْوَةِ مِنْ أَحَدِهِمَا يَكْفِي
[تبيين الحقائق ج٢ ص١٠٧ مكتبه امدادية / الفتاوي الهندية ج١ ص٢٧٥ مكتبه رشيدة]
(قَوْلُهُ: بِحَائِلٍ لَا يَمْنَعُ الْحَرَارَةَ) أَيْ وَلَوْ بِحَائِلٍ إلَخْ، فَلَوْ كَانَ مَانِعًا لَا تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ، كَذَا فِي أَكْثَرِ الْكُتُبِ
[رد المحتار ج٣ ص٣٣ ايج ايم سعيد]
احسن الفتاوي ج٥ ص٧٥ ايج ايم سعيد