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Hurmat Al-Musaharah With Mother in Law

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by DarulIftaBirmingham

Answered by: Maulana Mohammed Dilwar Hussain


Asalamwalykum hope you are well Alhamdullilah by the shukr of Allah the divorce problem doubts I get are clearing with the treatment by my therapist and also I am currently in Pakistan to clean my mind has helped as stated I am an OCD patient medically diagnosed in 2014 currently undergoing treatment my question is-

My mother-in-law was giving me money as a gift I declined she forcefully put it into my hand I tried to avoid her so her hand touched mine I could feel body heat but there was NO ERECTION I had loads of fear when it happened that’s the emotions I felt it was NOT LUST I am 100% sure no erection I checked my private going to one side but I’m not sure at the same time if it was erected already but if it was it 100% did not increase in size again I repeat DID NOT INCREASE but I favour the part of I DID NOT GET A ERECTION, anyways I’m not sure now if this happened during she did that or like minutes after the touch the fear the sinking of my heart, also this had happened her hand was barely a second on mine also I dont have a feeling for her or find her attractive shes around hitting 50 or over 50 and is ill.

No LUST NO LUST but again doubts you know my situation Mufti Tosir sahib knows me very well how I get doubts at the time I felt my heart sink I got very scared loads of fear came to me because I worried about was hurmat or not. I have spoken to my wife to tell her mother to avoid kissing my cheek and touching my hand respectfully so she doesn’t get upset is this hurmat does it affect relationships with my Mrs?

To sum up from my side what I can remember and conclude to No ERECTION NO LUST just a touch of hand the feeling I felt was NOT LUST FEELINGS WHEN SHE TOUCHED ME WAS FEAR BECAUSE STRAIGHT AWAY I REMEMBERED HURMAR SO THERE WAS NO DIRTY WRONG Intension shes not kaabile shewat for me in Pakistan people find anyone attractive its a bad place when it comes to men they stare at any female, coming from UK I have always feared Allah and I always lower my gaze so just because its mere doubts later coming to mind am I ok? 

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful


Lust has been defined as;

  • If an erection occurs in a male when physical contact is made. If erection increases when erection had already occurred prior to physical contact.
  • If erection does not occur in a male due to health reasons/old age, then if lust/desire occurs in the male’s heart at the time of physical contact. If lust/desire was present prior to physical contact and it increases when physical contact is made.
  • If lust/desire occurs in a female’s heart when physical contact is made and it was not present prior to physical contact.  If lust/desire was present prior to physical contact then it increases when physical contact is made.
  • It is not necessary that both persons experience lust when physical contact is made.  Lust in either the male or the female will be sufficient for Hurmat Al-Musaharah to apply. [The Mas’ala of Hurmat Al-Musaharah; page 30]

The ruling which has been defined here, “if there is lust in either the mature male or mature female when they make physical contact (touching, kissing, etc) with no material/cloth between them or there is material/cloth but it is so thin that body heat can be felt through it”.

Based on what you have said, this does not fall under the criteria of Hurmat Al-Musaharah.

Only Allāh Ta’ālā knows best.

Written by Maulana Mohammed Dilwar Hussain

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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