what is shariah rule on if a girl wants to marry someone from abroad and parents wont allow only because they don’t personally know the boy and because they don’t want her to move far away from them? Is this not against shariah and selfish of the parents to do this? Wont they be accountable for spoiling their daughters life on judgment day? This girl is a specil needs child who was born without being able to walk and therefore cannot marry anyone, so if she finds someone who accepts her the way she is and will care for her is this ok in shariah?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Marriage is a lifelong decision that requires careful consideration and mashwarah (consultation). The institution of marriage is a huge step in life and must be considered thoroughly and no negligence should be borne in finding a suitable spouse.
We understand that a woman has the right to express her choice to whom she would like to marry and spend the rest of her life with. However, one must also understand that as elders, our parents’ decision is solely based on love and keeping the well-being and future of their children in mind. The love our parents have for us is incomparable. Our interests and happiness never fade away from their hearts. Parents always wish the best for their children especially when it comes to their daughter. There is always khair (goodness) in understanding the concerns and objections from our parents.
The reasons of the parents’ disapproval of the marriage mentioned in the query are expected as any parent would not like to give their daughter’s hand in marriage to a person whom they are not familiar with or have not yet met. Having the daughter live far away is also a factor that worries one’s parents, as they do not wish to live far away from their daughter. The girl in reference should respect the concern of her parents.
However, as parents, they should understand this particular situation of their daughter and consider this proposal. The daughter may encourage her parents to meet the potential spouse and his family.
Apart from mutual discussions between the parents and daughter, the gap between them may be bridged through istikhara. That is to seek divine guidance from Allah Ta’ala. Therefore, both should resort to sincerely and correctly doing istikhara and decide based on that.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai