I got married a year ago. My husband is not very good with me. He lives in U.A.E and I live with my parents in Pakistan. He comes to Pakistan in every 4 to 5 months since we got married. Recently we were so much in problems that we separated for a month then he came back to me again and we started to live together. After 2 days he and my mother in law left me alone in my flat and went for some work outside, 5 people came to rob the house and they all rapped me. I am so much in trauma that I cannot bear any man touching me now.
I tried to but I start having shocks unintentionally and I started shouting and crying, my husband is good with me if I say yes to his yes and no to his no. Otherwise in any point of matter he never let me say anything of my wish and keep hurting me and after all these incident I do not want any man in my life and just want to spend rest of my life in serving my parents and just worshipping Allah.
I have also done 2 years of Aalima degree with flying numbers and did not complete the full 4 years because of my marriage. PLEASE guide me, is it ok to get separated from my husband for at least a year or any duration in which I could heal myself and start accepting men as a good being. Please help me.
P.S. I have tried my all level best to control and bear my husband with me but it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to do so right now.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We are sad to hear about your situation. We make dua to Allah that He grants you courage to overcome this challenge and that He guide you to whatever is best for you, Ameen.
After analyzing the situation, we understand that the issue requires further clarity and understanding.
Giving advice is a trust (Amānah) in Shari῾ah.
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ أَبِي بُكَيْرٍ، عَنْ شَيْبَانَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ بْنِ عُمَيْرٍ، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: الْمُسْتَشَارُ مُؤْتَمَنٌ
It is narrated on the authority of Hazrat Abu Huryrah Radhi Allahu Anhu that Rasulullah Sallallāhu Alayhi Wasallam said, “the one who is consulted is entrusted”.[1]
It will be more practical and expedient for you to consult your local Aalim or someone you trust and seek his wise counsel on the issue.
You should also seek spiritual strength through Zikr of Allah and Salāt ul Hājat.
Perform two rakats Nafl Salāt everyday with the intention of invoking Allah’s help and make dua to Allah.
Inshallah, through this you will feel spiritually strong and you will be guided. We are making dua for you.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Zaid M Shelia,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, Illinois (USA)
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net