I am a thirteen year old muslim girl. I grew up in New York, and am still living here. My parents never had the time nor money to teach me Arabic, so I know pretty much nothing. I dont pray but I am a strong believer and I do read the Quran in English..Is this a bad thing? Also I sometimes fight with my mom and my one of my brothers. Also, I sometimes lie to a friend just as a joke. Also, something that I’ve been thinking about quite often. Is it wrong to have a crush ? It seems perfectly natural and it’s definitely not like i’d ever date anyone..is it bad to even talk to a boy, and be friendly enough to him? It’s not like i’m hanging out with them either.. We pretty much have to be mixed in the school I go to anyway. Also I sometimes do bad things to people around me, like slight lies or acts of unkindness, how do i stop this? thank you
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
Jazakillah for writing to us regarding your concerns.
Marsha’allah, you are concerned about improving your practice of Islam and developing a good character as a Muslimah.
Allow me to suggest that since you do read the Quran in English, you should begin to pay attention to the sections in the Quran where you read about the commandments of Allah Ta’ala
I think you do know that the Quran is like no other book ever written as it is the most excellent speech of Allah Ta’ala. Your Creator is talking to you through the Quran.
I suggest that before you take up the Quran, perform ablution, cover yourself well (head, arms and body) so that you can feel within your soul the contact you are making with your Creator. Insha’Allah, you will begin to understand and experience the joy of knowing why you are a Muslim and know that this gift of being a Muslim is the greatest gift any human being can ever have.
Although you say that you do not pray, do think of performing ablution and praying, however much you do not feel inclined to do so. Your salaah is what defines your faith for you. You will find that in time, no matter how busy you are, you will not want to miss your prayers under any circumstances.
It is said that when you move a finger’s length towards seeking Allah Ta’ala, He moves a hand’s length towards you and when you move a hand’s length towards Him, He reaches out to you by an arm’s length. When you walk towards Allah Ta’ala, He runs towards you to embrace you with His glory and love.
Our Creator’s love for us cannot be matched by any human being. You will find that in time, you will find yourself raising up your hands begging Allah Ta’ala to change your life around so that you become an obedient servant of His. I do not know where you live at the moment but you can always learn to read Arabic. Do contact you closest Masjid and find out if anybody can help you as soon as possible.
As far as your habit of lying, quarreling, being unkind and thinking of having a crush, it is possible that shaitaan is interfering with you. You are still young and vulnerable so I suggest that you seriously think about starting your prayers and do seek help from a learned lady to help you learn all you can about Islam so that your imaan can become strong. This will help to protect you from the trap of shaitaan.
You are welcome to write to me on an ongoing basis if you wish to do so. It sometimes helps to be able to communicate / share your problems.
Please do remember that your mum is to be cherished at all times. Allah Ta’ala has commanded us in the Quran to never be harsh towards our parents. If you are upset with her, try to rather be silent instead of hurting her feelings in any way.
You will find that once you learn more about being obedient to Allah Ta’ala , it will become easier for you to be calmer and be in tune with yourself.
May Allah Ta’ala guide, protect and assist you to become a staunch and pious Muslimah. Do remember that Allah Ta’ala has given you a very high status in Islam , that you are a treasure as a Muslim woman and that you should love for others what you love for yourself.
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Social Dept.
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah