During Ramadaan (September2008) my husband announced that he was going to move out of the house after Ramadaan. In January 09 he moved to the outside quarters and said in two years time when our son finishes matric he will sell the property.
In the meantime he behaves like a single man coming in at all hours of the night ect and no mention of Divorce/Talaaq. I feel he is being totally disrespectful to me and our 27 years of marriage. A lot of people have seen him with other “women” in his car and at restaurants.
We haven’t been intimate for the past three months and a lot of “learned” people say that automatically you are Talaaq if you are not intimate for this amount of time. Is this correct? Secondly what are my rights as a female since this is leaving me in a limbo on what to do and he is not saying anything about Talaaq or permanent separation and he by his attitude and behavior obviously enjoys this newfound “freedom”?
I have called in his mother to talk to him and this was to no avail his family feels since he is an adult he needs to sort out his own life when I mentioned calling in an Imaam he gets aggressive.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
If there was no intimacy between you and your husband for three months or even more, that does not constitute an automatic divorce. Your marriage with your husband is still intact. You should consult with your local Ulama organization on the issue. If you are in the Natal or Transvaal, you may contact the Jamiat there. In Cape Town, you may contact the Muslim Judicial Council. These are the leading Ulama bodies in the different province of South Africa. They have sound mechanisms to deal with marriage related imbalances.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Wassalamu Alaykum
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah