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My boyfriend wants to marry me but I have doubts because he doesn’t practice Islam well.

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My boyfriend wants to marry me but I have doubts because he doesn’t practice Islam well (he got involved in zina before). My family doesn’t like him either. But we have kissed and hugged once. Even worse, I have sent him my naked pictures, which I regret most. I?ve never done any of those before. He said that I must marry him soon to repent over our sins together. My questions are, (1) Can I reject him for that reason when I myself don’t practice Islam well (in term of solat and fast)? (2) If I don’t marry him, will my repentance be less accepted since he is sincere in marrying me? (3) If I don’t marry him but repent, will I still considered sinful every time he / others see(s) my naked pictures? (4) Bigger issue here, should I free myself from bad desires by marrying him OR should I wait for a better man? (5) I heard that when two people get married for the sake of avoiding sins, Allah would bless them. Does that apply when the wife is not sure of the husband’s capability in guiding her to Islam? I hope you can answer my questions one by one to diminish my doubts. Thank you.

Answer

There is no basis in Islam for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That is Haraam and a major sin. You should repent to Allah for that. If you are sincere, Allah is All-Forgiving and Most Merciful.

Your repentance is not suspended on marrying the boy. Nevertheless, marriage is a big step in one’s life. One requires experience and insight before making a decision. You do not have that. It is important that you discuss the matter with your parents and other seniors. They will guide you to the best. Do not side step them or else you may regret. It is also important for you to make Istikhaara (seek divine guidance) on the matter. Allah is the best guide.

If you are not sure about marrying the person, do not commit to him. You will also not be sinful to refuse to marry him. Shari?ah has given you an independent choice to marry and you do not have to feel guilty if you do not marry him. There is nothing wrong in waiting for another better proposal for marriage. It is also important to note that no one is a perfect Muslim. The proposal of the boy should be considered seriously and follow the proper steps before deciding.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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