A married man is a husband and son. He has responsibilities as a husband and as a son. He has to fulfil the rights of his wife. He also has to fulfil the rights of his parents. Both the rights, to the wife as well as to the parents have to be appropriately fulfilled. It is not a question of more or greater.
If the rights towards each one are appropriately fulfilled, then the matter of choice does not feature at all. It is also important for the person to understand where the Shar’ee boundaries of both ? wife and parents – are and he should maintain the limits of both within the boundaries of the Shari?ah. It is only when any one of the two go beyond the boundaries of their Shar’ee rights, will a dispute arise that causes such a question of choice to feature.
Surely, the wife also has rights granted by the Shari?ah. It is incorrect to assume that a person has to be so loyal to his parents that he infringes on the rights of his wife and choose them over her. That is not loyalty. It is trespassing the boundaries of the Shari?ah. However, if a married man violates the rights of his parents, and without violating the rights of his wife, such a person is indeed deprived of the du’aas of his parents and the mercy of Allah.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai