Last year,I went to see a certain girl,thereafter,i made istigharah and dreamt of another girl that i’d not seen(Although i knew who she was-whose daughter,etc but had not pysically seen her-she donns purdah)i did not go any further with the girl i’d made istigharah for. Due to commitments and travelling abroad i got a chance only about 3 months ago to go see the girl i had dreamt of,what i saw was what i always looked for in a wife-deen,beauty,simplicity,aklaaq,modesty, good family background,i made istigharah and wanted to propose,my mother communicated my intentions to the girls party,but we waited for a responce for6 weeks,we bumped in to the girls family while shopping and was told by the girls parents that the girl is not interested, i really do like the girl ive been told by my parents to see other girls but i feel somewhat uninterested in seeing any others,what must i do? must i try again can i ask my sister to phone and speak to her?
At the outset, we must point out that every persons marriage partner is decreed by Allah. That can never change. Every individual will get married to the person decreed by Allah, not to anyone else. To believe otherwise is futile. We have to adopt means in this world a search for what Allah has decreed for us. If the search is unsuccessful, regard that as the decree of Allah.
It is compulsory to be content with the decree of Allah. There is nothing wrong in sending a proposal again and requesting the girl to reconsider your proposal provided your dignity and honour is maintained. It does not behove an honourable person to sacrifice his honour. There is also no reason for you to be despondent if the girl rejects your proposal again. You should move on with your life. You cannot allow one person to take control over your life especially when she is not an active partner in your life. You must face reality and accept that girl is not decreed for you. Allah in his infinite wisdom knows better.
Our limited understanding may not be able to comprehend the negative factors behind that. Make dua to Allah to grant you a marriage partner who is best for you according to the knowledge of Allah. When you come across the girl that is decreed for you, all will fall in place. InshAllah.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai