If wife is not interested at all in relationship.If she spend most of time with children and she doesn’t allow Husband to come near her ,some times only once a week and do sex like it is some thing very bad and unheiygenic and not satisfy Husband at all,refuse for sex by different excuses.This may will push Husband towards Gunah.Thanks for your reply
Please forgive me for the delay in responding to your mail to the institute.
There could be so many reasons why your wife is refusing to fulfill your marital rights. What was her last pregnancy like? Did she have a difficult pregnancy, labour and was she ill after the birth of the baby? Has she been in need of or had medical treatment recently? Is she depressed or ungoing some strain or difficulty? Is your personal relationship with her like it has been previously and has she been able to tell you what her problem is or have you been able to discuss this problem with her?
It is very importnat that the two of you should be able to communicate your needs, problems and stressors with each other.
You say that you have children so there has to be a reason why she suddenly finds sex distasteful. You need to approach her with kindness, wisdom and understanding. I have asked you lots of questions and you need to be able to work out what is causing this refusal from her side.
Are you tender and comforting towards her always (or most of the time) or do
you give her attention and warmth only when you want to have sex? Why do you
say that she views sex as something filthy? Has this always been her attitude? Have you provided her with an opportunity to share her fears and anxiety with you? If so, it could be that this is the way she was brought up? It can sometimes happen that attitudes are passed down from generation to generation. If you find that this is so, then it is up to you to help her to view sex and her relationship with you differently. She needs your
assistance, understanding and help to realise that Allah Ta’ala created man and wife as partners and that sex is allowed by Allah Ta’ala himself. Not only as an avenue to procreate but also as a means of obtaining pleasure and closeness between a couple. You could read to her the beautiful ayah in the Quran which relate to the marital relationship.
A lot depends on your attitude and how you deal with your wife’s present state of mind.
She needs your loving attention, devotion and understanding. If need be, think of going for counselling with her to your family doctor or a therapist. You may write again if you wish. May Allah Ta’ala strengthen your marital ties, ameen.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best.
Social Department