Does everything God chose for us in this world is for our own good??? Even if we dont like it?? I have been engaged to the best man, i loved him with all my heart and we were to get married and prepared everythign and my wedding was cancelled 2 weeks before it. I feel its the shaytan that came between us becuase this man loved me also and wanted to my husband. I ask myself why does God do this to me?? I prepared my wedding dress, and my everything and was so happy that in few weekd i’ll be with the man of my life and suddenly everything is gon. this man was religious, feared allah as much as i do but his mother was not so easy she never did anythng bad to me but was not an easy woman and i was going ot live with her. I am dvastated and very much in pain and i ask god for mercy every day but no progress is happening to me. Please bear in mind i am not a young girl, i am from good family, good looking and everything el hamdullelah but i am 31 yers old and i thought that finally after God pospotned my marriage so long he granted me the best man and suddenly God took everything from me. I am sabra and thank God i still try to be good and do all my duties towards allah but i am still in depression and pain and feel like i’ll never meet another man like him or love again. I am afraid i’ll remain single for the rest of my life, after all you dont meet people that u feel good towards them every day and it took me a very long while until i met this man. Please tell me wh is this happening to me
JazakAllah for writing to the institute about your grief. You appear to be suffering a great deal of emotional pain at the moment. This is understandable as you were on the threshold of making nikah with the hope of being with the man for life. My dua for you is that Allah Ta’ala eases your pain soon and grants you someone more loving, kind, pious, respectable and kind. Ameen.
Sister, if I read correctly into what you have written, are you saying that you either decided not to go ahead with the marriage due to his mother’s actions or did his mother call off the nikah? Sister, Allah Ta’ala does not ‘do’ anything to us willfully or out of spite. Our Creator has nothing to gain or lose by making us unhappy. Although you may have loved this man for long, there must have been a greater reason that you have been denied marriage with him. We do not have knowledge of the unknown. Only Allah Ta’ala does. He is the One who cares sufficiently for each of us to save us from greater calamities. It is just that we do not see it that way as we are only human and experience emotional pain to a large extent when we suffer any loss on earth. Insha’allah once your pain becomes less, you will be able to see the wisdom of these events even though at the moment you do not think you can live with the ‘mess’ and loss you find yourself in.
I do not know if this will help but do allow me to tell you about a wonderful young lady from Egypt who is my friend. She had a similar experience like yours.When her father arrived in Egypt with her wedding dress, she had to give him the sad news that her husband to be (in a weeks time) had called her and said that the wedding was off. He didn’t even have the courage to call her father. Alhamdoelillah, she is now happily married to another man. She tells me that she now appreciates what I had told her about Allah Ta’ala having greater plans for us when he deprives us of something we think is good for us yet Allah Ta’ala knows it is bad for us. Sister, continue to make dua, istigfar, salaah, zikr and place your full trust and hope in your Creator. Only He can benefit you in this world and the aagirah. You are still young so do not despair. If you make up your mind that you will never get married, then you have to face the consequences of that decision. You cannot blame Allah Ta’ala for it. However, you should increase your expectations of Allah Ta’ala and ask Him to grant you a worthy partner in marriage. Allah Ta’ala is for us according to our expectations of Him so please do not give up your duas etc. May Allah Ta’ala comfort you and grant you better in the future, ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Fatwa Dept.)