Assalam Aleikum , Dear brother, I knew a woman almost 2 years ago. I was never able to ask her for marriage , because she had some internal family problems between her two parents. I made Istikhara so many times, and I was always confused about the outcome?.or may be I was blinded by her love ( Astaghfirullah , may Allah forgive me and forgive her ) Lately, she agreed for my parents to come to meet hers. I fasted for Allah, and I made Salat al Hajah ( not Istikhara ) before Salat Fajr , in which I did ask Allah if the marriage would hurt one of us ( either her or myself ) , I asked Allah to make a reason to end up this process . Later, my parents told me that they were not treated well by her father ( that they don’t even know , they never met her family before ) , he was disrespectful , my parents both made a dream , in whish they saw what happened before it did happen !!! what do you think I should do ? sometime I feel gilty for letting her down? She keeps sending me emails, to tell me how miserable she is ?that her father agrees now, and that she?d be good with me specifically because I fear Allah ?and she says that the attitude of her father towards my parents was a ?revenge? from her mother, because her mother was very happy with my parents. Jazakumu Allah Khairan ,
Masha Allah. Make sincere tauba, cry, repent, feel remorse and don’t continue association with an illicit relationship. Be it even being caught in the Shaitaan’s web through website/e-mail.
Make Istikhaara on marriage if you are still in doubt for a few days. If you are negative don’t pursue it because of guilt or just feeling sorry for the woman. The woman may have also gone into an early relationship looking for love seeing the marital discord between her two parents. But perhaps you both may not make the perfect marriage. What if you both too experience difficulties and make a rocky marriage. Hence make Istikhaara before your decision. Also the blessings of your parents and girls parents is important. But note don’t lead her on and neither any other woman. Selct your marital partner correctly and enjoy Divine Bliss. Insha Allah.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai