mother took the istekhaara for me for the proposal I received. She took it 4 times & came positive; however, my mother’s friend (an old lady) took it 4 times & came negative. My mother’s friend took it 4 times, 3 times she had no inclination & 1 time came negative. I took the istekhaara 2 times & had no dream or any other signs. I know this guy, who proposed me, he seems very nice, very eastern & somewhat follows Islamic rules. The problem is that I can’t make my own decision & very much scared as I?m already divorced once. I strongly believe in my mother’s friend (that old lady) because she told my mother that, ?I took the istekhaara, came that, ?it’s not better to arrange marriages for two of them.? She also told my mother that, ?Your daughter liked him, but she’s confused & thinking what to do?? That is 100% true, what she said. Also she told my mother that whenever she takes the istekhaara there’s like board that comes in front of her while she’s sleeping & she copies into her notebook. Anyway, here I?m confused what to decide. My mother desperate very much to arrange my marriage, but I?m scared. There’s something, a biggest thing is stopping me to trust him that he doesn’t have a ?Permanent Resident? in USA, as my last husband. My last husband was illegal too & married just for the green card. I do like him very much, but there’s one thing that stopping me is, his status in USA.
The fear in you to commit to marriage is natural and is also due to your
past bad experience. It is, therefore, important for you to exercise
precaution. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, ‘A Mumin
(believer) is never stung from the same whole twice.’
If the fear in committing marriage is based on solid grounds, for example,
the person is not a permanent US resident and his future is not secured,
then you should never commit to marriage to such a person until his
residency status is changed. Merely liking a person is not a solid ground to
marry a person. Marriage is more than that. Honesty and trust between the
spouses is vital in making the marriage a success. We advise you hold on
especially when there are negative factors in proceeding with the marriage.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai