Assalamualaykum,
I have been in a non-halal relationship with a girl for a few months, we both go to the same school. We both succumb to temptation and participate in haram things knowingly such as oral sex and kissing even though we know they are forbidden. We hope to one day get married however it is not the right time for me due to financal and other reasons. We both feel guilty after doing these actions and ask for forgiveness yet often times we commit the same sin over and over again and it has become a cycle.
My question is regarding Du’a and supplication. Since we know what we are doing is haram and a very big sin, does that mean that after we commit these sins and ask for forgiveness Allah will not accept our dua’s because we sin so much? Or does it mean that our Du’as are less likely to be accepted
In simple terms my question is :
Is there a relationship between One who commits sins knowingly, does istaghfaar, and then repeats the sin to the likeliness of ones dua being accepted.
And when I say Du’a i mean any type of appropriate Du’a such as Allah giving us the means to get married or Allah granted us with better jobs etc.
Thank you so much for your time, may Allah bless you and grant you the highest rank in Jannah.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is one thing to be conscious of a sin and another to abandon the sin. A sin incurs the wrath of Allah. If it is repeatedly committed, it darkens the heart and one may be deprived of sincere repentance.
You are conscious of the sin you have committed. You also make du‘a to Allah and seek forgiveness. You also regret committing the sin. However, you need to even abandon the sin. Do whatever it takes to keep away from the girl. This may be difficult initially, but you will get used to it and avoid committing the sin. The sacrifice and withdrawal from committing a sin is an act of ‘ibadah. You will be rewarded for the difficulties experienced in the course of migration from sin to reformation.
Whenever the thought crosses your mind and your nafs and shaytan jolt you to commit those despicable acts, think to yourself that the girl is someone’s sister or daughter. Would you like for anyone to do such despicable acts with any woman close to you? Would you like that for your mother or sister?
Respect the feminism of the girl and do not abuse her. Exercise restraint and fear Allah. You may also consider fasting to control your carnal desires.
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ.
O young men! Whoever among you can marry should do so, because it helps in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s modesty, and whoever is not able to marry should fast, as fasting is a means of restraint for him. (Sahih al-Bukhari, 5066)
And Allah Ta‘ālā Knows Best.
Lutfy Alam.
Student Darul Iftaa.
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.