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Do i conduct a secret nikah?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org


I want to marry someone but my parents don’t agree with me they want that i should marry with richest person. I first tried a lot to completely avoid that person but failed. I felt emotions for him even i was not in contact with him. I beleive that i shouldn’t marry with someone having emotions for someone else. 9 years have passed and iam still in this situation and feels that my iman and haya became so much weak. The person is equal to my family in piety, better in religious knowledge and richness. I did istekhara for him and saw green grass, white shirt and rain in my dream. I want to marry him secretly for my iman and haya. I believe that i will be able to convince my parents later IA. He is ready to support me in every matter. I f i marry secretly so my Nikah will be valid or not? Kidly guide. JazakAllah!


Sister in Islam,

You know your parents better. You were born to them and raised by them. You have repeatedly experienced their love and care for you. Till now, they made choices in life for you for whatever they felt was best for you. We advise you trust the love of your parents for you and understand that their decisions for you are motivated by their love and concern for you.

The decision to marry requires maturity and insight. Your parents have matured with their experiences of life and have insight on issues beyond the surface.

However, if you feel disadvantaged by their attitude and conduct, identify an influential person in the family and confide in the person who will communicate your concerns and feelings to your parents. That, we hope will make them change their attitude or at least explain to you the reasons for their attitude. You should not marry the person of your choice in secret. There are many negative consequences of a secret marriage.

Sister, Regard yourself as a special pearl. If someone wants you, let him pay the price of resistance and request your hand in marriage. Do not simply hand yourself over out of marriage. By doing so, you are undervaluing your honour and dignity and making yourself cheap. Love yourself and be positive.

We make dua Allah Taala grants you peace and happiness and grant you a compatible marriage partner. Ameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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