Salaam, I come in great need of answers and would highly appreciate an answer at this hour. Please help with an answer if possible. When I was young in my University I came to meet a girl and I admired her in certain ways seeing her from a distance. I kept the words to myself but one day slipped the words to her brother. I requested him not to tell anyone. Her brother did not keep up to his words and slipped it to her sister. Her sister afterwards had a straight talk and I told her I would have to finish my education. In a way I promised her. Now there was another girl I met 2 years later – initially we were in the same class – I respected her as a sister … one day she spoke that she admired me … I did not respond as I had promised someone else earlier. 2 months later the ( 2nd ) girl’s father passed away and she was lost – her family were having financial problems … apart from this emotional problems – seeing her under pressure I felt sad … I did not know what to do – she was crying and I told her I would take her once my education is complete. I told her to remain calm and that Inshallah she’d be fine. She has no brothers, her father passed away. In my culture it forbids a man to marry more than one woman … my parents will not accept it .. so I have to choose either of my promises. What should I do ?
Islam at the outset forbids courtship for this can lead to many
complications as you are now experiencing. On the other hand marriage is a
very great step in ones life and this decision cannot just be based on
sympathy for an individual, rather such a decision should be reached on the
bases of the Shariah, i.e. consulting with your elders (Mashwara) and
Istikhaara (seek divine guidance)
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.