Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I am a young woman, open to the prospect of marriage. I’ve read many articles, but how do I know when I am ready for marriage? I know it requires honest reflection, but marriage is not something anyone can ever be fully prepared for because of the nature of its challenges. And how do you balance these with the fact that sometimes, meeting someone suitable is what makes you ready? What if you are prepared for marriage, but there is an agreement in place to slowly get into married life (e.g.-not, live together just yet); would this mean one is not *really* ready?
You have asked an excellent question and one that most don’t ask themselves enough before they enter a marriage.
No one is indeed fully ready for marriage. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “If a servant gets married, they have completed half their religion.” The wide world of marriage is a new way of living, seeing, feeling, and uniting with someone that cannot be experienced when single. The joy of sharing a child is also unmatched.
Allah does guide us in preparing for marriage, and one should be eager to take advantage of them.
Pray Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance. All Muslims should habitually use this excellent, direct prayer to Allah to seek help in making a decision. One should ask Allah whose proposal to accept, whom to propose to, and for all other decisions in every walk of life. Don’t ignore such a gift. When one gets a proposal, one can consult elders and scholars; one rarely makes such a decision alone.
Reading articles is excellent, but nothing prepares you better for marriage than learning your religious obligations and rights in marriage. This is incumbent for all who want to marry or are married. Take the following courses to ensure you are doing your best to prepare yourself.
Kindly check these links:
Keys to Successful Muslim Marriages: Practical lessons that explain the Prophetic Spirit of Marriage
Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage
25 Years’ Worth of Marriage Advice: Hina Khan-Mukhtar
Finally, it doesn’t seem right to me that a married couple should slowly get married and not live together immediately. This seems like an invention of the modern world and not in line with the Sunna of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace). A couple cannot fully appreciate, love, or build their marriage unless they are living together. Any young lady needs to get over the fear of transition and start her marriage with both feet in, relying on Allah to help her through. Remember that the young groom may also be just as nervous and unprepared! How Can I Prepare Myself for My Wedding Night?
Allah, Most High, says, “And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect. “ [Quran, 30:21]
Kindly check this:
I Get Easily Annoyed. Am I Ready to Get Married?
May Allah help us ready ourselves for this world and the hereafter.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.