Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Is it considered disobeying my parents if they told me to never go on Discord again and they hid my phone and I still found it and use it? They mean for good. I use it to ask Islamic questions, refute others about Islam, learn the duas and Quran, and talk to people because I’m lonely all day.
I don’t see this as disobeying my parents because I don’t do anything bad with it and it’s not harmful to me. Also, my parents completely misunderstand me. They think that I’m talking to ISIS and getting brainwashed. I please my parents in everything, but I don’t understand how I must obey them in this.
May Allah Most High reward you for being a good child to them and I pray that you can open the doors of communication and find some compromise with them.
Goodness to Parents
The rank of parents in Islam is great and one should always be avid to have a good relationship with them without sneaking around about anything. Doing something behind their back cannot be considered respecting or honoring them. Allah Most High doesn’t ask one to unconditionally obey one’s parents but goodness to parents is called for. Maintaining the respect of parents, even when difficult, usually engenders love and blessings in your life, after which things get much easier.
Please see more details here:
When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How?
Abdullah narrated, “I asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), Which deed is the dearest to Allah? He replied, ‘To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.’ I asked, ‘What is the next (in goodness)?’ He replied, ‘To be good and dutiful to your parents.’ I again asked, ‘What is the next (in goodness)?’ He replied, ‘To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah’s cause.’ Abdullah added, ‘I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) would have told me more.’” [Bukhari]
If you are prevented by your parents from using your cell phone, you should listen to them. However, I don’t think that you should shrink into a corner and be miserable, but openly tell them that you use the phone for these purposes and they need to provide you with alternatives. Ask them to enroll you in courses, buy books of knowledge and supplications for you, and arrange times for you to see your friends. I also recommend that you ask them to monitor your cell phone usage and check it regularly so that your usage is transparent and they won’t jump to conclusions.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.