Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question:
When something gives me anxiety, I avoid it. Mainly when I fall behind in a class, I completely give up on it even though that doesn’t benefit me. And I have failed so many courses again and again because of this, and I stress my parents out. I feel that I have the knowledge to deal with my stress, but when it’s time to act, I don’t. What should I do? I have a final exam that I’ll likely miss. What can I say to my parents?
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this stress and anxiety and not dealing with it in the way that is best for you. I pray that you can come out of this.
Coping
Coping with anxiety and worry will happen when you choose for it to happen. Unfortunately, in life, no action can be taken for you, no word can be spoken for you, and no one can account for your actions except for you on the Day of Judgment. Here are some excellent strategies; please read them:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/living-religion/how-do-i-calm-my-worries/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/supplications/amazing-supplications-when-faced-with-stress-and-anxiety-habib-kadhim/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/general-artices/6-key-things-help-ease-stress/
Prayer of Need
Please pray the Prayer of Need and rise before dawn to supplicate for Allah’s help. He has not abandoned you, and you still have the greatest gift of faith. You can still turn your life around, and it is never too late. Respond to the distress of your mind by giving it more Islamic knowledge and worship, and respond to the distress of your body by giving it a healthy diet and exercise.
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/how-does-one-perform-the-prayer-of-need-salat-al-haja/
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/prophetic-guidance/stress-rania-awaad/
Therapy
I feel that it’s important for you to seek professional therapy or counseling, perhaps even with a psychiatrist. It is worth your time and money and I suggest that you explain this to your parents. Also, consider calling these Muslim hotlines to speak about your anxiety and distress:
https://www.ayanatherapy.com/resources
https://naseeha.org/
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.