Home » Shafi'i Fiqh » Seekersguidance.org » Should I Pray Istikhara About Marrying a Man Whose Family Refuses Me Because of My Caste?

Should I Pray Istikhara About Marrying a Man Whose Family Refuses Me Because of My Caste?

Answered as per Shafi'i Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org
Should I perform istikhara for this boy I actually like, whose family will not agree? What should I do?

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question.  I empathize with your frustration of wanting to marry someone whose family does not agree. Rest assured that you are not the only one this has happened to, and the best thing is to submit to Allah’s will.


There is no harm in praying istikhara about waiting for this boy or not. It actually would be better for you to do this and feel comfortable about making your next step. If it comes as negative, you can clear your mind and start opening up to other options, and if it is positive, you might talk to your parents about him. See these links:

Two Options

Your options are only two. Either you will move forward with him or you will not. Be prepared to submit to Allah’s will, and know that Allah is always there with you and understands your pain. Build your relationship with Him first, and put all your trust and reliance on Him. Trust that if this boy is not for you, someone better will come along, by His grace.

Please see these answers about caste:


May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and bless your union with whoever it may be.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

Read answers with similar topics: