Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah
Question: Assalamu alaykum
My teacher recommends to marry someone who shares one’s native language. This has me worried as I am planning to marry someone who doesn’t share my native language.
What should I do?
Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. Jazakum Allah khayr for your question.
Your teacher’s recommendation to marry someone who shares one’s native language is a valid suggestion, but a general one, and not something that applies to every single person or situation.
Generally speaking, there are a few things that make marriage easier, and among these are matters such as a shared language and culture, as they automatically provide a common basis of understanding between the spouses and the in-laws. This is the reason why your teacher (May Allah preserve him) mentioned it.
However, each individual scenario is different from another and there are many situations in which language and culture are not barriers to a successful marriage. Much of this depends on the attitudes and personalities of the spouses.
Given what you have said, it seems that language is not an issue for you both. Make your intention in marriage for the sake of Allah, and concentrate on moving forward with your spouse in the religion and strengthening each other’s faith.
May Allah grant you a blessed marriage, and I wish you both every happiness.
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah
Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.