Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam
Question: Assalam alaykum
According my culture before the walima you have the henna night “only” for women. To my henna night there will be a woman dj who will play Turkish music. The bride and groom will also dance together.
Should I skip this?
Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
May Allah Most High bless your union, and grant you a blessed, joyful marriage.
There is nothing wrong with listening to acceptable music, namely, that which doesn’t go beyond the limits of the Sacred Law [such as with a duff], and similarly dignified dancing, and other harmless activities.
You have to use some tact. Balance the fact that your family would like to enjoy themselves, but at the same time, ensure that you don’t contravene the Sacred Law as that isn’t the best way to start a marriage.
Submitting to culture is not an absolute. But when cultural norms fall within the realm of the permissible, then it is fine, particularly when coupled with righteous intentions; and as long as such matters won’t lead to other detriment.
[Nahlawi, al-Durar al-Mubaha fi al-Hazr wa al-Ibaha (17-18)]
Please also see: The Criteria of Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil and: Listening to Islamic Songs with Musical Instruments and: Dancing in Private For One’s Spouse and: What Role Does Culture Play in Islam?
And Allah Most High alone knows best.
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.