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I’m a revert to Islam but my family does not know. When should I tell them?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

 I am a 18 year old muslim girl born in a hindu family. Ever sence I was 7 years old I have belived in Allah and for 11 years now I have kept this a secret from everyone I know. My family is very respected in our community and ther religion is their pride and honor. They can accept the fact that ” I might not be a hindu beliver” but they will never be able to accept the fact that I belive in a other religion. I am afraid that my dad who is weak harted and have had 2 heart surerys already, will not be able to hear this. In a few years I will be getting married, and so to a muslim guy. And religion differences is not accepteble in my family. I am very sceared and don’t know what to do. Keeping this secret for so long is starting to rip me apart from inside, because I want everyone to know I am muslim, but I am afraid to hurt and damege my family. Please, if you can help me? 


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

May Allah strengthen your faith and increase your love for Him. You are a very courageous person to have become Muslim at such a young age while being born in a non-Muslim family. That alone speaks volumes about your commitment and dedication to Islam.

While it might seem the easier route to continue practicing your faith in secret, when its time for you to get married to a Muslim it will be even more difficult for your family to accept. So while it will not be easy to break the news to them, it is something you have to do at one time or another and the sooner it is the better. The best path would be to start with your mother first, since your father is weak from heart surgeries. Start by speaking to your mother about Allah in simple, easy-to-understand terms.

After letting the fact sink in with your mother you can then approach your father and speak with him. The most important thing is to show them that you are still their daughter. Islam emphasizes kind treatments of parents even if they are disbelievers. They will not become strangers, but rather have a respected and honored position because they are your parents no matter what their religion is.  

By taking the above steps, methodologically revealing your faith and emphasizing the parent-daughter relationship along with duā, you will have done all that is possible from your side to tell them gently. As for your parent’s reaction, that is out of your control. Consign their affair to Allah and make duā that Allah guide them to Islam. Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) has said that the hearts are between two fingers of Allah, He changes them as He wills. [i]

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai – With the following comments:

It is my Dua that Allah protect you and keep you steadfast.

Eventually when you break the news or even give any indication to your family members, in all probability, you will have to bear the pressure of opposition and resolution. If you have to face challenged, make Sabr. Allah will never put you through something you cannot bear.

Insha’Allah, you will prevail with success in this world and the hereafter. You may refer to the idealwoman.org website for help and support. It is our duty and honour to support you.

 كانَ رسولُ اللَّهِ صلَّى اللَّهُ عليْهِ وسلَّمَ يُكثِرُ أن يقولَ: يا مقلِّبَ القلوبِ ثبِّت قلبي على دينِكَ فقلتُ: يا نبيَّ اللَّهِ [i]

 آمنَّا بِكَ وبما جئتَ بِهِ فَهل تخافُ علَينا ؟ قالَ: نعَم إنَّ القلوبَ بينَ إصبَعَينِ من أصابعِ اللَّهِ يقلِّبُها كيفَ شاءَ

سنن الترمذي، الرقم: ٢١٤٠

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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