My Husband Pronounced a Divorce Over the Phone Without Warning. Is My Divorce Valid?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: My husband and I married a few months ago. I left to come to visit my family. While I was home, we got into an argument about me working. A week later my husband called me and pronounced talaq (divorce). He has not spoken to me since.
Is the divorce valid? Have I committed any sins? Will he be judged on his behaviour?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well.
Is there a local scholar you can speak to about your situation? Please consult one as soon as you can.
I am very sorry, but based on your description, your divorce is valid. It would be sinful for your former husband to have divorced you without good reason, but it is still valid. You have done your part by reaching out to him and trying to reconcile. Yes, as with any action, he will be taken to task by Allah for his behaviour.
You have two options:
Perhaps your husband regrets his decision to pronounce talaq. It could have been a result of waswasa, poor advice from others, or something entirely different. Allahu alam. Is there any way you can reach out to him, perhaps through a trusted family member or respected community elder? Because he pronounced talaq only once, there is still a chance for you to reconcile.
Please complete this course Islamic Marriage: Guidance for Successful Marriage and Married Life to help you better understand the spirit and law behind marriage in Islam. Ideally, a couple should be clear on how to deal with major points of contention before getting married e.g. the wife working, living arrangements etc.
Should the two of you reconcile, then please work on better methods of communication and conflict resolution. Consult a marriage therapist if you need to.
2) Move on
As heartbreaking as this sudden and unexpected divorce is for you right now, trust in the promise of Allah. “For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” [Qur’an, 94:5-6]
To help you decide, please perform Salatul Istikhara up to 7 times. You do not need to look for the answer in a dream. Rather, observe how events unfold in your life, and see what Allah makes easy for you. If He makes easy a return to your husband, then that is a sign for you. If He blocks your return, then that is a sign for you.
Divorce may seem like the end of the world right now, but trust that even the worst of heartaches is temporary. Think of this as a new beginning, and a way for you to know what you want in a husband for next time, inshaAllah. Some of the best lessons in life hurt, but they provide us with invaluable wisdom. Look after yourself during this heartbreak. Reach out to loved ones who will support you. Make a lot of istighfar, read Qur’an, make dua in the last third of the night and make plenty of salawat upon the Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace).
I pray that Allah soothes your heartbreak, grants you clarity, and replace what you have lost with something better.
Please refer to the following link:
My Heart Feels Uneasy After Divorce – What Can I Do?
What are the Wisdoms behind the Rulings on Divorce in Islam?
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.