Q: Its been a while I’m having some confusion about my attitude whether its something one calls self respect or sort of pride or ego. I’m not able to differentiate between the two terms. I’m aware of the virtues of forgiving others and have positive thoughts for others yet at times, no matter how much I try, I cant let go off the feeling that somebody did that to me, hurt my sentiments, and how much I try to get away from such negativity, it comes back to my mind with even more potential. Like, I will think “Did you forget what was done to you? Do you still wanna go and meet them? They cant be your allies like the way they used to be before.
One thing I would like to clear, it’s not that I’m an egoistic person, I forgive easily but maintain a distance, even if my heart is willing to get the same ties back. Is it a version of pride? I need advice regarding my behavior towards such attitudes of people, even of close friends!
A: You are not answerable for the feelings. Forgive and don’t deliberately pay attention and reminisce the past problems and suffering.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)