Q: I really like a girl. I told this to my parents and my parents finally met the girl’s family. Her family really liked me and my family and they were ready for our nikah, but my family said no for 3 reasons which are:
1- the girl doesn’t wear hijab.
2- the girl is working in an IT company.
3- the girl doesn’t have good looks.
I discussed the above points with the girl and she said that she will start wearing hijab very soon. Second point which they didn’t like is she works. They justified it by saying that she won’t be able to give much time to me, but I dont see a problem in this because first of all I also work in the IT field and I think we can manage it. Thirdly I dont have a problem with the girl’s looks.
After clarifying and discussing the above points with the girl, I explained to my parents but they are still against it just because the girl doesn’t have good looks. I tried convincing them a lot but they are not at all agreeing only because she doesnt have good looks. It’s been already 2 months since our families met and the girl cant keep on waiting for a yes from our side. I tried my best to convince my parents and all they could tell me was that if I want to marry her then they wont have a problem but they will not be happy for this marriage and they will be hurt.
The girl is committed to deen and pious as far as I know and I am satisfied with her deen. My only question was her hijab and she said she will follow it very soon. I dont want to lose this girl as well as I dont want to hurt my parents but it seems that I have to choose one from the above two. Can parents stop their children from getting married just because of the looks?
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)