Q: I am aged 22 from India. Two years ago I fell in love with a girl. She was a cancer patient. Her parents came to know about us and were positive for our marriage. My parents said first finish your degree and get a job and we will assist you in marrying as you wish. Days passed and it is because of her I started offering Salah..Allah made me turn to him through her. I was So much worried about her cancer.. And days passed ..I changed a Thug..Smoking drinking..Etc..And we had problems ..We were about to break up ..And then..I started salah once again.. And allah gave Her back to me..And at a period of time..Once again I was moving in opposite Direction. Smoking and Drinking. In november 22 2015 she went very Bad that her organs stopped working that she had to undergo dialysis. It was like a calling bell from Allah..”O my servent come back to your lord”.I was So afraid of losing her..I started offering my salah..And on december 22 After offering my maghrib salah..I heard a recitation from quran saying..”We Will test you through loss of life. If u can’t handle the pain ask allah ya Allah if I can go through this let me..If I can’t take me” . Suddenly it Striked my mind lyk she has gotta go…And to I had dreams lyk ambulance in Front of her home..But I never left my salah..Asking allah to save her..Cure Her..On jan 6 2016..Inna lillahi wa innae ilaihi rajiyoon.. She passed Away..But wallahi ..I never had a negative thought in my mind like..Allah Hates me..Or he didn’t accept my duaa..Instead I had thoughts like my allah Knows what’s best for me..He never does bad for me..In sha allah..Allah will Make me join with her in jannah..I still can’t believe she left me..I weep Remembering those beautiful days spent with her..But wallahi I say allah Made me stronger.. Am right here messaging you its all because of allah..If I Never prayed ..Surely I would have ended up with suicide.. Now am getting Closer to allah .I can feel it..He is getting me closer..There have been days That I have thought why allah is always doing something with me .Yet still There are people out there enjoying life..(my cousins) ..But now I realize Allah loves me a lot..He gave me a ticket to jannah..In sha allah I should Make me built up and be capable for it..Now during my supplications I ask Allah to make me join with her in jannath ul firdhous.. Now when I offer my Salah..Tears comes out uncontrollably remembering the day of qiyamah..My Question is will Allah make me join with her in aakhira..?
A: The first level of acceptance is to beg Allah Ta`ala’s forgiveness for your premarital love relationship.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)