Q: A Muslim man came to ask for my hand in marriage and I decided to do istikhara. After the the istikhara I noticed that we didn’t get along so well again and that another man I have known for a long time came back asking to marry him. But this other man is lacking so many knowledge about Islam which I’m not really comfortable with, so I ignored him and I did istihara again and its this same man that come up again. My question is what do I do? This man does not really observe five daily prayer, he clubs, drinks and also like flexing and rocking life. What should I do?
A: It is not permissible for a girl to be in contact or to speak casually with a non-mahram boy. You should sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for being casual with this boy and make a firm resolve that you will not repeat this sin in the future. It is not in keeping with shame and modesty that a girl independently looks for her own suitor. The Islamic teaching is that a girl should consult her parents and allow them to decide in the matters of nikaah. Generally parents have more experience and understanding in the matters of nikaah compared to children and hence through them deciding there will be less chances of problems occurring later on.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)