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Love, Islam, and Parental Approval: My Struggle to Make My Relationship Halal

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I am a 25 year old muslim girl. Four years a go meat a guy and by time we both fell in love, its been 3.5y ears now we are in a relationship until today he did not touch me we did not do anything physical. After a few months of the relationship he went to Australia for a better life. He is Masha Allah a hafiz e quran and a very nice person. He is now in Australia he finished his education trying to get a PR his family has agreed on us getting married but my parents have issues like he is less educated then I am. His father had passed away when he was 3 so there is no one supporting him financially he is working in Australia and earning enough to pay his University fees and living and other expenses according to him he can also support his wife and a child. According to him he is well settled. His mother had called my mother to ask my hand in marriage 2 years a go after that his brother had called my father a number of times. First my father wanted him to finish his education now that the education is done and they are trying for a PR. His brother calls my father and gives him all the details my father just listens to the what they have to say and thats it gives no response my father also does not even tell my mother about the calls or messages. One time when his brother messaged my father my father saw the message but did not reply to it. If my mother tries to explain my father he gets angry and aggressive. We both are true and loyal and I want to make my love halaal. I do not want to hurt my parents. My friends also have told me to run away or get married without my parents knowing but I did not want to do that. Can you please guide me about what islam says about getting marred according to my will and can you tell me a dua that would help me convince my parents. And also please let me know that with this attitude of my father towards a person who is a hfiz quran prays all the namaz earns halaal has a good heart and character am I allowed to do my nikaah without my fathers permission.


A: All types of premarital relationships are haraam. At once, end up all forms of communication and relationship with him. In matters pertaining to marriage etc. these should all be done with the consultation and permission of both parents.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.