A couple got second time married; their ages are in fifty’s. The woman is healthy and has sexual feelings good looking She went to Overseas to get marry with good Looking man. He told her He is healthy have feelings. But after they got married He can not have sexual relationship with his wife. She stayed with him for three weeks but in three weeks nothing happened.
First two days He told her He was tired because He did not sleep well. But after four days His wife told him to go to the Doctor. He went to Doctor’s Office. He treated him but nothing happened. He said to his wife, I think I have stress I did not know. I have that kind of problem. He said He did not have sexual relationship since seven years, may be that is the reason.
Any way, His wife is very strong, patient and very understandable person. She did not discourage him. She gave him more love and stayed with him three weeks and came back home(USA). But the problem is, He never showed her feelings and still He is not sure. He went to the Doctor’s Office again because His wife keeps telling him. He said Doctor told me everything is fine. But I don’t understand how come He did not know about this problem? Why He got married to suffer another person.
That lady spent four years to search for her Husband and went overseas for that Person. Now He still is in Mumbai She sent papers for him When He went to Consulate for Interview they asked him for Divorce Certificate He did not have Divorce Certificate that’s why they told him to bring Divorce Certificate. He Divorced in Bahrain. Now is more than three months after interview date He did not get Divorce Certificate His wife keep asking why don’t you tell your family they can help you about your Divorce Certificate Every time She asked He gets upset He said don’t worry about that I will take care of those papers and all way sudden He stopped talking to her when She called him He never responded to me. He never picks up the phone. His wife spoke to his sisters they gave him her message He still did not talk to her His wife Loves him so much. She was keep calling him He never sent any E-mail for Ramdan Mubarak or Eid-Mubarak. She did not get any E-mail from him since five months any phone calls since three months.
On first Ramadan accidentally He picked up the phone when she called him. He said you are upset hung up the Phone I will call you on Monday but He did not call her. In this Situation, I think He has two problems. first He does not have Divorce Certificate, second He still have sexual problem.
One important thing is He did not have any money after marry His wife spent her money to stay Hotel and for all expenses. She knew that He does not have any money. She thought If He is smart and healthy He can make money no problem. But She did not know she had sexual problem, now She found out. He does not have Divorce Certificate also. He stopped talking to her and She is very upset has to much stress She is disturb. She is not feeling well. Disturbed mentally, physically, emotionally, she wrote him letter also on Dec. 12. 2002 because her son told her to write him letter I don’t know He will response her by letter or not.
Please give advice according to Islam what she needs to do? If she will take Khul’a then what she need to do. When will the Mahar money be given to her? Please give me a response in detail.
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
In the mentioned situation, if the sister no longer wants to remain in the marriage and she is not happy at all, then the following procedure can be taken:
Firstly, if she can contact her husband and convince him to divorce her, then she should do that. If he is not willing to give her a divorce, then she should consider to him to enter into a khul’a agreement (financial agreement in return for a divorce. she can also agree to forgive him the Mahr [Dowry] in return for a divorce). Khul’a can only be carried out with the consent of the husband.
Secondly, if the husband does not agree to give her a divorce, neither is he willing to enter in to a khul’a agreement, then she can move to the court of an Islamic Country for the dissolution of her marriage on the ground that the husband is impotent. If it is difficult to go to an Islamic Country, then a local committee of a few religious people and which consists of at least one scholar of Islamic law can also carry this out.
The following is the procedure of the dissolution of marriage:
If the sister was not aware of her husband being impotent before marriage, neither did she ever show her consent in staying in his marriage after Nikah, and neither did the husband ever have sexual intercourse with her, then she can turn to the court for the dissolution of the marriage. The court after carrying out their research will give the husband one year for medical treatment. After one year, if the husband still remains impotent, then the court will once again ask the wife if she wants to remain in his marriage. If she demands separation, the court will ask the husband to divorce her. If he divorces her then after the waiting period she can remarry. If he still does not give her a divorce, then the Islamic Court will have the jurisdiction to dissolve the marriage. In this case, the wife will shall also be entitled to receive her Mahr (dowry) from her husband and also she will have to spend the Iddah (waiting period).
It should be remembered that this process can only be carried out in an Islamic court or with a committee of religious people as explained earlier. I sincerely hope that this has answered all your questions.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Leicester , UK