Answer
(Fatwa: 443/36=TB/1430)
(1) As per the Shariah, the Nikah is not valid; since neither the boy and girl are present in single meeting nor is there any witness who heard them offering proposal and accepting the same.
في الھندیۃ: مِنْهَا أَنْ يَكُونَ الْإِيجَابُ وَالْقَبُولُ في مَجْلِسٍ وَاحِدٍ حتى لو اخْتَلَفَ الْمَجْلِسُ بِأَنْ كَانَا حَاضِرَيْنِ فَأَوْجَبَ أَحَدُهُمَا فَقَامَ الْآخَرُ عن الْمَجْلِسِ ۔۔۔۔۔ وَكَذَا إذَا كان أَحَدُهُمَا غَائِبًا (1:2)
If they want to marry while they are away from each other, the boy should write to the girl: ?I marry you?. So when the girl receives the letter, she should read it out and say in presence of two legal witnesses: ?I accept this Nikah?. Thus, the Nikah will be valid:
قوله ( بل غائب ) الظاهر أن المراد به الغائب عن المجلس وإن كان حاضرا في البلد وصورته أن يكتب إليها يخطبها فإذا بلغها الكتاب أحضرت الشهود وقرأته عليهم وقالت زوجت نفسي منه (الشامي 2:364، کتاب النکاح)
(2) This sin will be forgiven if you do good deeds, as the Quran says: ?Surely, good deeds erase bad deeds.? (11:114) What do you mean by duniyawi nizam?
(3) Why she says so, you should write it too. She will not deserve Talaq only by saying this much only. Such things happen sometime between husband and wife. Everyone should rectify his/her attitude, the problem will be solved, in-shaAllah.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best
Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband