Q: My wife simply just refuses to come to me in bed. She is always sitting in the from room watching television till 1 -2 in the mornings. I call and call but she simply refuses my sexual advances and desires. I am really suffering badly and just want out of this marriage. She is very disobedient. I remind here of salaah and keeping her qadaah fasts but she simply laughs and mocks at me. She is always out of the house afer magrib and eshaa sitting by her friends. What do I do?
I have taalim every day after magrib and after fajr – my son joins me. Unfortunately the wife is not interested, not even in reading 1 page of Quraan let alone any day but never in Ramadhaan as well. I have to beg her to wake up for fajr and again she displays delaying tactics before getting up. She sleeps in another room for one ans a half years because I didn’t allow her to watch tv in the bedroom till 1-2 in the mornings.
I provide everything in the house but she does not want to appreciate it at all. She’s all the time on the cell phone on whatsapp even at night time. She does not even want to sit with madrassa revision for our children in the afternoons.
A: If the situation is truly as you have explained then it is clear that your wife has not understood the role she as a Muslim wife has to play. We suggest taleem of some authentic literature explaining the duties and rights of the spouses. Altenatively you could ask an authentic Aalim or scholar of Islam to advise yourelf and her on your respective duties has a husband and wife. If she is not open to the idea of working and buiding a healthy home and marriage, you then could seriously consider a seperation.
I would think best is to seek the help of an Islamic councillor. If she refuses to mend her ways you have two choices: accept her as she is and continue to make dua Allah guides her or you could consider a temporary separation.
And Allah knows best
Aadiel Moosagie (Mufti)
Council of Ulama Eastern Cape
+27 83 982 6968
[email protected]
www.councilofulama.co.za
@UlamaCouncilEC