I am in a very critical situation. My wife lives with her mother as we did a secret marriage. She didn’t pick up my call one day so I got really angry and waited for her call. She called me and said that she was not well, due to which she went to the hospital. I asked her why she couldn’t have told me beforehand. This conversation went on when suddenly I got angry and said “I don’t like to live with you! If you wish I will give you” —— (never uttered the word) so that you can go away. She fought for some time and said “Okay…give and go off!” Then I asked her to confirm it and whether I should give off. She said “yes, give off!” I said “okay, I will message you on this matter” and hung up the call. Then I was totally upset and sat for a while. At one time my heart was telling me to give her one (never uttered word), another time it was telling me “No! Please don’t do that”. Then my heart said again “Oh Allah! Please forgive me, I have to give her. That’s the only way she will come in control” (Even now, I didn’t utter the word).
Is this act considered to be one talaaq, two or three and is she still in my Nikah? Do I Have to perform my Nikah again?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The first thing that we urge you to address is your secret marriage. Secret marriages are totally against the spirit of Sharia’ and are the root of a number of problems. It is narrated in a Hadith:
قَالَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم : أَعْلِنُوا النِّكَاحَ ، وَاضْرِبُوا عَلَيْهِ بِالْغِرْبَالِ يَعْنِي الدُّفَّ
(ابن ماجة ـ مكتبة أبي المعاطي. ج:٣. ص:٩٠)
The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: “publicise a Nikah, albeit with a tambourine”.
You should inform your parents about your marriage now and publicise it. Once you do this, you will immediately see the benefits. You will be able to openly talk with your wife which will prevent arguments like the aforementioned ones, and people won’t get the wrong idea if they see you together.
You also mentioned that your heart was telling you to do things. You must realise that these are just wasāwis (whispers) and a ploy from shaytān and don’t mean anything until you say something verbally. To combat this, we recommend that you make dua that Allah rid these thoughts from you.
Finally, this act will not be considered as a Talaaq.You said “If you wish I will give you ——” will not constitute talaaq, firstly because talaaq was not mentioned and secondly because in this instance you merely threatened divorce by saying ‘I will’ not ‘I give you’…
وَإِذَا قَالَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ لِزَوْجِهَا : إنْ طَلَّقْتَنِي ثَلَاثًا فَلَكَ عَلَيَّ أَلْفُ دِرْهَمٍ ، فَقَالَ : نَعَمْ سَأُطَلِّقُك ، فَلَا شَيْءَ لَهُ حَتَّى يَفْعَلَ
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Saanwal ibn Muhammad,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.