My wife is now pregnent. Please suggest what should me and my wife do to get a good child?
Also, what are the things to do just after a child is born? Is akika compolsary or nafl?
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Indeed, Allah Ta’ala creates children with a pure instinctive nature, and whatever shortcomings occur is the result and lack of poor education. The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said: “Every child is born on Fit rah (natural disposition), it is his parents who make him Jewish, Christian or a fire worshipper……….”
عن ابي هريرة قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كل مولود يولد على الملة فأبواه يهودانه أو ينصرانه أو يشركانه قيل يا رسول الله فمن هلك قبل ذلك ؟ قال الله أعلم بما كانوا عاملين به
(Sunan At Tirmizi V2 Pg-35 Saeed)
Stepping into the road of parenthood is a unique journey. It is only a natural instinct that educate parents how to cope and succeed. It needs a lot of insight and an open and exploratory mind. People learn from seeing others and make good preparation in advance.
It is interesting how modern science has shed some light on this aspect. When babies hear their mothers’ heartbeat and voice, they kick and stretch. The burden of pregnancy is enormous on the mother. Mothers cannot even sleep when the babies are in the mood of playing. Rest, good food and mental peace are essential for the healthy growth of the baby. What about the spiritual food, which is far more essential e.g., positive thinking, reciting Qur’an, offering prayers, giving charity, supplicating for ones needs and the baby, etc?
When Hazrat Zakariya (Alaihis Salaam) had seen the miracle of Allah Ta’ala descending upon Maryam (Alaihas salaam), at that time he had no offspring and was persuaded to make Duaa unto Allah Ta’ala to bless him with offspring even at this old age, so he supplicated:
هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَكَرِيَّا رَبَّهُ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ(38)
“Oh Allah, grant me from your side a wholesome progeny”
This illustrates that to make Duaa for children is a blessing and to have children is a greater blessing. Together with this, it is essential that we monitor our actions. The crux of the matter is, whatever the parents do or think, more so the mother will have a direct effect on this bundle of joy. The mother should continuously make zikr and recite Qur’an abundantly. It is also very beneficial that the Dua of Hazrat Zakariya (Alaihis Salaam) be recited in abundance with the intention and hope in Allah Ta’ala’s mercy descending upon this child.
After the birth of the child, wash and clean the child up and then call out the Azaan in the right ear and Iqâmah in the left ear. There is great wisdom in ensuring that the names of Allah Ta’ala and His Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) fall onto the child’s ears the moment he is born. A benefit of calling out the Azaan and Iqâmah is that Shaytaan, who is just waiting to distract a person and seeks to entangle a person with a snare of trials and tribulations from the moment he is born, flees the moment he hears the Azaan. He is summoned to the call of Islâm and devotion of Allah Ta’ala before the summoning of Shaytân,
(Fataawa Mahmudiya V5 Pg 454-458 Faruqiya)
If possible, after the Azân and Iqâmah, a pious person should chew a piece of date or anything sweet and place it onto the palate of the child and request the pious person to make Du‘â for the child. This is called Tahneek. Choose a suitable name for the child by naming the child after the prophets or the Sâhâbah or add the word ‘Abd to one of the names of Allah Ta’ala like ‘Abdullâh, ‘Abdur-Rahmân etc. It is preferable to do this on the seventh day.
Perform ‘Aqeeqah on the seventh day. It is a preferable and desirable act according to the Hanafi school of thought. Slaughter two goats or sheep for a male and one for a female. However, slaughtering two animals for a male child is not necessary. Even one would suffice. Thereafter shave the child’s hair and give gold or silver equivalent to the weight of the hair in charity. If one wishes, saffron could be applied to the child’s head. (You may give cash as well.)
عن سمرة قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم الغلام مرتهن بعقيقية يذبح عنه يوم السابع ويسمى ويحلق رأسه
حدثنا سلمان بن عامر الضبي قال: سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول ( مع الغلام عقيقة فأهريقوا عنه دما وأميطوا عنه الأذي )
(Fataawa Rahimiya V10 Pg 59-66 Darul Ishaa’at)
(Bahishti Zewar Pg 356 Zam-Zam)
On the seventh day, circumcise on the male child. However, if this is not possible by the seventh day, get it done at least before he is seven years old. Khatnah (circumcision) is an Islâmic characteristic.
(Raddul Muhtaar V6 Pg 751 Saeed)
Feed the child with your own milk as well. This is a right of the child over the mother. The child naturally develops more love for the mother when breastfead. Such children are generally more obedient and the mothers reserve fewer complains about such children. Coupled with this, it is also the mother’s responsibility that with every drop of milk, she imparts the lesson of Tauhîd and the love of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam).
And Allah knows best
Wassalamu Alaikum
Ml. Ebrahim Desai,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah