i want to know whether the following is callified as a halaal marriage My friend rand away with his girlfriend to londing (his parents being displeased). They lived together intimatedly and then decided to get marriend (without either parents permissions). This was done with two witnesses. I understand that they are ismalically married but for the girl’s parents to be happy, they are looking for tangible eviodence that show this. Please can you provide me with this so that her parents can make up with her again: they are happy as long as they are confident that they see evidence.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Allah Ta’ala has created men and women as lifelong partners for one another, so that they may procreate and live in peace and tranquillity according to His commandments and the guidelines of His Messenger (Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam). The nature of marriage is such that it brings about joy and happiness to the couple and their families. The Qur’an says:
In addition, among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)
This verse of the Noble Qur’an clearly shows that in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism etc., which consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and accepted institutions.
The importance of the institution or marriage receives its emphasis from the following hadith of the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam):
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ( النكاح من سنتي . فمن لم يعمل بسنتي فليس مني (……
“Marriage is my sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me……”
(Sunan Ibn Majah Pg.132-133 Qadeemi)
With these Qur’anic injunctions and guidance’s from the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam) in mind, we shall examine the institution of marriage according to the Shari’ah.
Marriage is a religious duty, a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity. Through marriage families are established and is regarded to be an essential component of our society. It is also a form of Ibaadah because it is obeying Allah Ta’ala and his messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). It is not a matter that can be taken lightly and should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves. Marriage is not like buying a new dress where you can exchange it if you do not like it. Your partner should be your choice and the choice of your parents for life. One should be mature enough to understand the demands of marriage so that the can be a lasting one.
When a man intends to marry, it is essential that he consult with those above him to assist him in making the correct decision. This will be a means of guidance and blessings for him. Parents play a vital role when it comes to finding a suitable partner that will be compatible to the family and society. Allah Ta’ala has given them wisdom and understanding to distinguish between that which is beneficial and harmful. Together with this Allah Ta’la has made it necessary to respect and treat parents well by combining it with the command to worship him.
Ibn Majah reports on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Umaamah (Radiallahu anhu) that someone asked the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam): “What rights do parents have on their children?” He said, “They both are your Paradise, or Hell.” It means that obeying and serving them takes one to Jannah and their disobedience and displeasure to Jahannum. Allah Ta’la mentions in Surah Bani Israil:
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and do well to parents. If any one of them, or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words, and submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion, and say, My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood.‖ [17:23-24]
[Ma’ariful Qur’an Pg: 473]
Hazrat ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) narrates from the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. However, if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam), “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.” [Recorded in Sahih Muslim]
It should be understood that Nikah is a public institution. The teaching and spirit of Islam emphasise the public announcement of a Nikah. That is why the presence of witnesses is an integral constituent of the marriage ceremony, which is not valid without witnesses.
In order for a Nikah to be valid, the proposal of the boy and girl intending to marry must take place in the presence of two Muslim male witnesses or one Muslim male and two Muslim females. If the Nikah in reference was conducted with this condition, then only it will be valid.
(Mahmudiya V 11 Pg 27 Faruqi)
ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا غير عدول أو محدودين في القذف قال رضي الله عنه : اعلم أن الشهادة شرط في باب النكاح لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام [ لا نكاح إلا بشهود
(Al Hidaayah V 2 Pg 306 Shirkat ilmiyah)
قَالَ عَامَّةُ الْعُلَمَاءِ : إنَّ الشَّهَادَةَ شَرْطُ جَوَازِ النِّكَاحِ .
وَأَمَّا بَيَانُ وَقْتِ هَذِهِ الشَّهَادَةِ – وَهِيَ حُضُورُ الشُّهُودِ – فَوَقْتُهَا وَقْتُ وُجُودِ رُكْنِ الْعَقْدِ – وَهُوَ الْإِيجَابُ وَالْقَبُولُ – لَا وَقْتُ وُجُودِ الْإِجَازَةِ حَتَّى لَوْ كَانَ الْعَقْدُ مَوْقُوفًا عَلَى الْإِجَازَةِ فَحَضَرُوا عَقْدَ الْإِجَازَةِ وَلَمْ يَحْضُرُوا عِنْدَ الْعَقْدِ لَمْ تَجُزْ ؛ لِأَنَّ الشَّهَادَةَ شَرْطُ رُكْنِ الْعَقْدِ فَيُشْتَرَطُ وُجُودُهَا عِنْدَ الرُّكْن
(Badai us Sanai’i V2 Pg 523 Deoband)
It is imperative that we understand the seriousness of our actions. A true believer is one who will ponder first before committing any action so that he may judge the outcome and repercussion of his/her actions. Your friend has committed a grave sin by living with a strange woman, as this is haraam and has disobeyed his parents, which is a major sin. Nevertheless, the damage is done and sincere repentance ought to be made. Thereafter he should contact both families and ask sincere forgiveness.
We suggest that the local Ulema be contacted and mashwerah (consultation) be made in order to assist your friend in his dilemma.
And Allah knows best
Ml. Ebrahim Desai,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah