In marrying a Christian lady, since her parents have been planning her marriage for quite some time now and i don’t want to ruin it for her, am i allowed to have 2 different ceremonies of marriage, one for Islam, and one for Christianity??? my next question is why are you not allowed to have any type of contact with your fiance?if you are not allowed to have contact with anyone from the opposite sex how are you even supposed to get to know the other person in order to even get engaged??? third question is, since as a Muslim we’re are not allowed to have so much verbal contact with any females, how are we supposed to get to know them and find the right one for our selves???..because if this is not allowed, i think it would lead into arranged marriage where your parents pick your bride for you without your will. if these questions are open endidly answered i would appreciate it i have read alot of answers on this board, and i am looking for some new information rather than same answers that i’ve read before, since the other answers didn’t really answer my questions..thank you very much.
1. Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said “Whosoever adds to the (i.e. adds
to their number by taking part) gathering of a certain people (joins them in
sin if they are Muslims or takes part in their ceremony or cusstom if they
are non-Muslim), he will be reckoned among them.” This Hadith and numerous
others like it directly forbid sharing in the practices/ ceremonies of
non-Muslims. Therefore, it is not permissible to be present in a christian
marriage ceremony, not even as an observer. See also (Marriage to
Ahle-Kitaab women-attached)
2. Parents marrying of their children against their will is a practice of
Jaahiliyyah (Period of ignorance) not sanctioned by Islam. There is a whole
chapter of Ahadith instructing the Waliyy (Guardians) to seek permission
from their charges before marrying them off. Similarly, there are many
Ahadith describing the qualities one should seek in a spouse. This would not
be possible if one did not have a choice in the matter. At the same time
however, Islam has prohibited free intermingling of sexes due to the
undeniable Fitnah (mischief) arising thereof. Therefore free contact between
Ghair Mahaarim without necessity is forbidden. Marriage, however is a real
necessity and has been recognised as such by Islam, in as much as a slight
relaxation of the prohibition. A prospective spouse has been allowed to see
without Hijaab, those parts of the body which are not Awrah for her/ his
mahram relatives. Due to everpresent Fitnah, even now free contact is not
allowed. This does not mean that a person is unable to find out about the
character etc of the intended spouse. He /she will definitely have Mahram
relatives of the same sex that they could communicate through, should the
need arise. This system has worked well enough for fourteen centuries of
Islam and continues to work more efficiently than the Kufr system of free
contact. This is evident from the great disparaty in the divoce rate between
e.g. America and Saudi Arabia. The high divorce rate in western countries
speaks for itself. Despite intimate aquaintance before marriage, why, then
is divorce rate still soaring?
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Bilaal Cassim
FATWA DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai