I have been a modest girl throughout my life Alhumdulillah. However, I met a person at my university whom I started to like very much and seriously considered for marriage. He also started to like me. I have been given permission from home to find the right person for myself. Now that it is my age to get married, I seriously started to get frustrated and used to think how would I be able to find someone myself. I know its Haraam in Islam for a boy and a girl to have any type of communication, but still I decided to initiate study related talks with the boy. We kept in touch through MSN Chatting and in university during classes, discussing study related material. But in discussing minor everyday issues, we used to have lots of arguments and disagreements, because of which I considered doing Istikhara which turned out to be negative(according to your answer to an earlier question i posted). We both are devastated by this and feel very guilty to be involved in such a relationship. We are concerned how to repent to Allah and ask his refuge from getting involved in such situation again. What about our future spouses? Should we disclose our past affair to them? Will it be a sin to hide it from them in order to maintain a peaceful environment at home? Also, should we consider keeping in touch (Salam and asking how we are doing, and sometimes going over eachother’s homes with our spouses) once our university years end? please help.
You state you knew having any type of communication with the person was Haraam, and you regret that. That is encouraging and a sign of sincerity of tawbah.
Insha Allah, Allah will accept your tawbah if you also make a firm intention never to repeat that sin again. There is no need to disclose one’s past sins to anyone or to maintain the university friendship as such a friendship is in itself prohibited.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai