Please assist with a dilemma I am facing with regards to my in-laws. I am sometimes servely affected by talk and conversations when in the company of my in-laws. My real problem is that usually I start having ill-feelings towards them because of the things that they may say, attributing to my lack of tolerance. However I mostly remain silent during the conversations and will only speak when spoken to. I never start a conversation. This makes me seen as one that is not too friendly and welcoming. The dillema is that I would like to stay away as much as possible from them but at the same time my spouse’s rights will not be fulfilled. Summary : 1. I harbour ill-feelings after interaction with them because of the things they say. How do I deal with this? 2. I am seen as one that does not very hospitable and friendly owing to my aloofness to them. How do I deal with this? 3. I cannot stay away completely. My spouses rights will not be fulfilled and I do not want to servere ties with any of them.
1. Ignore whatever they say and accept it with a cheerful countenance.
Control your tongue. Be polite with them at all times even if they hurt you
emotionally. ‘When they hurl stones at you, offer flowers to them.’
(Proverb)
2. A cheerful countenance whenever you meet them will go a long way in
solving this problem. Be warm and affectionate towards them. Treat them like
your own family even if they treat you like an outsider.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
FATWA DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai