Assalamu alaikum I no longer know how or what I think and feel. I am so confused, depressed and angry I am not sorry nor do I regret loving this man. I have told him that I would do absolutely anything for him, to make him completely happy and comfortable. But everything I do is simply not enough because I am white. I am a Lebanese Muslim and he a Pakistani. He is has been engaged to a girl in Pakistan for a few years and has had occasional email contact with her! We have been together for the last year, getting to know each other, spending time together and falling in love. I know that it is Islamically wrong but we met through work, working closely on a project together. we spent hours at work, discussing all sorts of work and private issues Now we are faced with the problem that we love each other, he is engaged, cant tell his parents, we want to marry each other, but he fears losing the love and contact from his family. I am only scared of losing him because I love him. My mother is ok with it, my father is yet to know. I tried doing Istikarah, but I don’t know what signals to look for He has now asked me to make the decision for him. To take into account all we’ve discussed and decide. Decide if we should marry? I don’t know what to do. I want to marry him, but I don’t want him hating me if things don’t work out with the family, both our families. Please help me.
It seems this man wants his ‘bread buttered on both sides.’ If he loves you
so much, why doesn’t he want to break off with his fiancée and marry you?
Instead of you living in sin, you should get married and shun aside the
Shaytaani insinuations of ‘the fear of losing face’ before his family.
Intead of betraying his family, he should approach them honestly and inform
them of his predicament and subsequent intentions. The wrath of Allah is
more severe than the ’embarrassment’ he fears.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
FATWA DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Moulana Imraan Vawda