Assalamualikum, before i reverted to islam alhamdulilah i had a child out of marriage. I am 17 years old and i reverted when my son was born officially during Fajr. my question is my childs mother is a non-muslm, she considers herself catholic i need advice as how to handle the haram relationship since i cannot afford to become married. a side note, i have already sought forgiveness fo my past sins but i do not want to keep doing the haram. I have talked to her about islam but she even gets mad because i can no longer do what i used to. How should i handle her as she is the mother of my son, a son which Allah subhanawatala has given me since i could not have childeren before.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Almighty Allah has blessed you with Islam. Allah took you out from the darkness of Kufr through Islam. Allah wishes to bestow you with a pure and wholesome life of his obedience. If you are steadfast on Islam, Allah will grant you entrance in Jannah. Allah will save you from the fire of hell, the heat of which is seventy times more intense than the fire of this world.[1]
It is important for you to understand the depth and extent of Allah’s favours upon you in order to appreciate Allah and how to proceed with your life. Islam prohibits a relationship of marriage that incurs the wrath and anger of Allah. Remind yourself of Allah’s special favours on you and abstain from doing anything that will displease Allah. Inform the mother of your child that you are a muslim and you cannot displease Allah by committing any wrong with her. You may consider getting married to her as it is permissible to marry a Christian woman. The marriage will legitimise your relationship and offer you the opportunity to win her over to Islam. It is not wise to persist on her accepting Islam at this stage. Apply wisdom and diplomacy in securing a marriage with her as she is. This will enable you to rear your son according to Islamic values.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ridwaan Ibn Khalid Esmail [Kasak]
Student Darul Iftaa
Katete, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[1] باب فِي شِدَّةِ حَرِّ نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ وَبُعْدِ قَعْرِهَا وَمَا تَأْخُذُ مِنَ الْمُعَذَّبِينَ
Abu Huraira [Radhiyallahu Anhu] reported Allah’s Apostle (ﷺ) as saying:
The fire that sons of Adam burn is only one-seventieth part of the Fire of Hell. His Companions said: By Allah, even ordinary fire would have been enough (to burn people). Thereupon he said: It is sixty-nine parts in excess of (the heat of) fire in this world each of them being equivalent to their heat. [Saheeh Muslim]
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا الْمُغِيرَةُ، – يَعْنِي ابْنَ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ الْحِزَامِيَّ – عَنْ أَبِي الزِّنَادِ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ” نَارُكُمْ هَذِهِ الَّتِي يُوقِدُ ابْنُ آدَمَ جُزْءٌ مِنْ سَبْعِينَ جُزْءًا مِنْ حَرِّ جَهَنَّمَ ” . قَالُوا وَاللَّهِ إِنْ كَانَتْ لَكَافِيَةً يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ . قَالَ ” فَإِنَّهَا فُضِّلَتْ عَلَيْهَا بِتِسْعَةٍ وَسِتِّينَ جُزْءًا كُلُّهَا مِثْلُ حَرِّهَا ” .