Premarital relationship

Q: I am a software engineer from India. I am in love with a girl for the past 2.5 years. And the love towards her is pure and we talk very less as we are non mahram to each other. She is from Indonesia and she lives there with her parents. I approached her father for marriage three times. He and his family likes me. As they are of Arab origin, he is afraid of his big family that they wanted her to marry an Arab only. He said no for me as I am not an Arab. I showed him the proof (the last sermon) that there is no caste system in our beautiful religion. He wants to earn pride by marrying her with an Arab. But she don’t accept as she loves me. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said there is nothing better than a marriage for those who love each other. I want to marry her as soon as possible. She is 26 now. Not a single day I missed to pray to Allah for his help. I am submitting my burden to him, the Almighty to whom I should return. I know he will surely help me, he may have a good plan on me, he is the best planner. But I want to know is there anything I can do. I seek many scholars for help, no body cares me. Hope you will have a good heart to hear me. May Allah extend his shade over you and to your family brother. If you can’t help me, at least remember me in your dua.


A: We advise you to abandon this thought of yours. Let her elders decide what it is most appropriate for their daughter.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)